


The Secret Life of Four

by finalomen



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Amanda does not have pararibulitus, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Friendship/Love, Huddling For Warmth, Love Confessions, Male-Female Friendship, Mild Hurt/Comfort, POV Female Character, POV Third Person, Please don't focus on how long winter is in this fic, mentions of vomiting, mild mentions of torture, mild violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-14 06:05:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13583838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/finalomen/pseuds/finalomen
Summary: Tired of living a boring life, Amanda seeks to find adventure in the four men who frequent her job. Little does she know it will be more than she bargains for.(Aka Coffee Shop!AU we all know and love)





	1. Semi-Charmed Kind of Life

**Author's Note:**

> This fic as a whole is Mature/Explicit, however the first few chapters are more Teen then will jump 0-100 to Explicit.

“Oh no, they’re here again,” Dirk groaned as he stepped out to place fresh pastries in the glass case. Amanda had been watching them wistfully for close to five minutes while wiping the counter down.

“They’re here every day,” she muttered.

“I _know,_ that's the problem.”

Amanda stopped and turned to him. “If you don't like them so much, why don't you tell Farah to keep them out?”

“I have…and she says that “Since they are paying customers and haven’t caused an issue, I can’t kick them out before they complain about discrimination” which I think is absolute bullshi—Hi, how may I help you?”

The customer blinked at the both of them then awkwardly ordered a medium mocha cappuccino. While Dirk attended to him, Amanda glanced over at the four men who parked themselves daily in the largest booth by the window.

She noticed them one day after hearing the guy with a circle tattoo around his eye laugh. It had been a full body, head tilted far back kind of a laugh that somehow just seeing his laughter caused a smile to appear on her own face. Since then, Amanda began to keep a closer eye on them where she noticed that the men came in every day without fail at 1:30 PM. At first she thought it was cause they were on some form of a lunch break, but they would remain in that spot until 30 minutes before closing so there went _that_ theory.

From what she deduced, after her careful and sly sleuthing, was that: a. they worked and/or lived together since she once heard the youngest one say “when we get home…” b. the tall guy with the white Mohawk was the “leader,” they all seemed to defer to him when making choices c. they like black coffee and nothing else—no wait scratch that, the black guy with the wool cap likes to pour an obscene amount of sugar in his—d. they were …animated to say the least.

Amanda has never gotten the chance to give them their drinks since Dirk would be the one to approach them; despite his constant bitching. In fact she hasn’t been able to do anything except daydream while looking at them. She swore one of them growled at Dirk once, but she has no actual proof. However, the spooked look on his face when he returned was proof enough. She tried not to creep on them too much, but they were a loud bunch; not obscenely so where people would feel the need to complain, but amongst the hustle and bustle within the cafe, she can always hear them just a tad bit more. Or maybe it cause she strains to hear what they’re talking about; sadly none of their conversations made sense.

She was starting up a new batch of coffee when she heard the youngest one yell and slap the table.

“No, that's not fair, we did what you wanted last time!”

“But what you’re proposing doesn’t even make sense! So come back with another idea!”

Amanda spun around to watch as they stared at each other heatedly and in silence for a long period of time. Farah immediately came out when she heard them and sighed.

Her booties clicked on the ground as she approached them. “Gentlemen, I hope you’re enjoying yourselves, but I’m going to need to you to keep it down a little.” She gave them her signature, ‘don’t fuck with me smile’ as she looked at each of them.

Amanda watched with heart eyes as her boss got them to relax their stance and nodded. Oh to possess such power over such a scary looking group of men.

“Sorry ma’am, he just gets a little excited sometimes,” the one with the tatted eye said.

“Yeah, yeah,” she said and walked back to her office space. She was barely out unless it was Dirk or Amanda’s break/lunch time. Most of the time, she was in her office arguing with Todd, her own brother, or some other family member while watching the security tapes. The four men followed Farah’s movement with an interested smile before turning back to each other.

 _‘Same,’_ Amanda thought as she gave her boss’s retreating figure heart eyes.

Amanda has some form of a hero worship towards Farah ever since she saw her punch a guy in the throat and snatched his gun when he tried to rob them a few weeks into her starting there. It had been so quick she constantly wondered if the event even took place or was she that entranced by Farah she made it all up.

Since then, 8 months later, she’s been trying her best to be like her; or at least a watered down version. She even took a self-defense class on the weekends even though Todd didn't want her to. Of course he didn't want her to; she needed to be the perfect little sister that her family wanted her to be. You see, the issue was that Amanda had spent a good chunk of her time trying not to be a burden while Todd was able to do whatever he wanted. It wasn’t her parents’ fault or anything; in fact they more encouraged her to get out of her shell. It was simply she felt like she had nothing going for her.

She has boring brown hair, and plain brown eyes, and no more than a handful for breasts so she really didn't see what she had to offer. Her grades, when she was in school, were okay and she had a few acquaintances that she saw on her practically empty social media sites, but other than that she just lived her life fairly bleak.

It’s not like she’s trying to garner sympathy or anything of the sort. It’s just want her life is; bland. Like a store bought frozen turkey dinner.

Todd had gotten her the job after another temp position didn't go anywhere. He had met Farah a while back when he was attempting to make his whole band thing go somewhere and they sort of, kind of, hit it off? Then there was a thing with Dirk and, well, all she knows is that Todd may or may not be seeing both her coworker and boss. She hasn’t confirmed this because she kind of doesn’t want to know, yet she needed some juicy gossip.

She had been so lost in her thoughts while wiping down the machines that she didn't notice the four men had gotten up and followed Dirk out after he stepped away for a quick break.

Back in the alleyway, Dirk was getting his fear sucked out for the millionth time.

Closer to closing time, Amanda watched as the men gather themselves up and left the cafe. She silently hoped they’d come and take her with them. She had cooked up so many scenarios where they walk right up to her and take her away, but then again they barely even looked at her when they were here.

Again, while she was too engrossed in her wishful thinking, she didn't notice the deep inhale each of them did when they passed her by.

The leader of the group glanced at her after catching her scent, but she wasn’t looking at them anymore. He kept his gaze on her until she went through the kitchen doors.


	2. That Girl Possessed

It was a Saturday night and Amanda was in her garage drumming away on her kit. She had called Todd in hopes that he would come over and have a random jam sesh with her, but he said he had to work a double at the hotel. Knowing her brother, she had a strong feeling that the “double” meant something completely different. She instead was forced to spend the rest of her day grocery shopping, getting in and out of there as fast as possible, then killing some time with a few movies.

By Sunday morning, she actually wished it was Monday just so she could have some human interaction. Maybe even see her four men again; yes, she’s claimed them as her’s since they were her sole form of entertainment. She had a few other people she could have possibly called, but she always felt like a charity case around them and when she ignored a few calls or texts they easily dropped her. Tired of her repetitive and bleak life, she vowed to herself that she was going to approach those rowdy men, even though Dirk has highly and emphatically suggested that she doesn't.

Come Monday, Amanda woke up with a strong sense of excitement to go into work. After her shower, she actually applied makeup with some intent. In reality it was just eyeliner and a lip tint; sue her - most of the time she would just put on some chap stick and call it a day. She also attempted to tame her hair, but after trying and hating a few styles, she gave up. Her next obstacle to beat was what she was going to wear. She had spent the last 10 minutes staring at her closet in hopes of finding the right outfit that gave off the “I put work in my look and I don’t care how I look” vibe. In the end Amanda picked her regular faded black jeans and grey V-neck shirt. Sighing at how her morning was not going according to plan, she begrudgedly grabbed her bag and jacket left for work.

While she walked to the cafe, she was muttering the different scenarios on how everything could play out while at the same time giving herself a pep talk. She did not want to chicken out and frankly felt ridiculous that she even had to do all this. When she was younger she was more vibrant, outgoing, and energetic. Now, somewhere along the lines, she just retreated into herself.

Throughout the morning Amanda carried out her daily routine, but her stomach soon started cramping in nerves when it came closer to 1:30 PM. She tried her best not to keep looking at the clock, but Dirk caught onto her.

“Mandy,” he started.

“Don’t call me that,” she said swiftly.

“Why do you keep looking at the time?” he asked in faux innocence as he poured a mint chocolate frap for a deathly tired looking student.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she played along as she gave the girl her change.

“Mmhmm,” Dirk hummed suspiciously. He spun around and brightly bid the student farewell with her drink. Amanda’s traitorous eyes looked over at the clock again. “Just now, you did it again.”

“Yeah well you made me self-conscious about it so I looked.” She moved around the counter and started wiping down the empty tables of crumbs and spills, trying to look busy and to stop herself from looking at that damn clock. More than half the time, she leaves these kinds of messes for Dirk, but she wanted to get away from his judging eyes.

She heard the telltale sound of their van and music before she quickly wiped down their table. They might as well claim it since no one ever sits there except for them. A few people have tried, but being glared at by those men was not something she would want to be on the other side of. Amanda looked at the clock one last time before turning her head to the door where the rowdy group of men were walking in.

Gracefully and hastily, she shuffled away from their booth before they reached it and stood behind the counter again.

Dirk’s eyes moved from the clock, to the men, and back to Amanda four times before he gasped and pointed at her. _“No!”_ he said in a horrified whisper.

“What?” she whispered back.

“The makeup, the father time act— I know what you’re up to.” Amanda shook her head feigning confusion. “They are dangerous Amanda and you can’t—” he waved his hand about “I don’t know _what_ you’re doing, but _don't_.”

“I didn't know I had another brother?” she retorted angrily. “Also, for your information, all I did was put on some eyeliner. That’s not the _worst_ thing in the world.”

“And you look amazing really,” Dirk honestly complimented with a nod. “But I am not talking out my arse when I say they are dangerous.”

“I really don't see what the big deal is. All they do is come in and drink coffee. Sure it’s _kinda_ weird they’re here practically all day every day, but they haven’t done anything in the 8 months I’ve been here.”

“Just…let me handle them.”

“Oh, get over yourself.” She marched out from behind the counter again and used the anger brewing inside of her to walk over to them. “Hi, can I get you guys anything?” she said in her best non-shaky voice.

The four of them slowly looked up at her while inhaling her scent and smiled one by one. She tried not to let her nerves get the best of her when they simply stared for close to a minute.

“You sure it’s safe for you to come over to a bunch of crazy strangers?” the leader asked with a slight drawl.

She cocked her hip and tilted her head. “You sure it’s safe for you to order coffee from a crazy stranger?” Amanda got ready to reprimand herself for a weak comeback, but they hollered in amusement.

“She totally flipped it!” the youngest one yelled while laughing. Amanda blushed and straightened herself out again.

“So, what’ll it be boys?”

“Coffee,” they all said in unison.

“With sugar!” the black man called out. Amanda smiled and tapped her nose with a wink.

“Anything else? Muffin? Sandwich?”

“Just the coffee please,” the man with a circle around his eye said politely. She scanned all of them quickly before heading back over to Dirk who was staring with apt attention.

 _‘Please on all that’s holy don't trip,’_ she thought to herself when she felt their eyes on her.

“Well?” Dirk asked when she returned and didn't say anything about her encounter.

“They want coffee,” she said with a shrug and poured their cups. She made sure to add extra sugar in the leftmost cup on her tray then walked back over to them. As she approached she noticed the way they stopped talking and looked as though they were scenting the air. “Here you guys go.”

Dirk was still staring at her while absentmindedly assisting the customer before him.

“So do you guys have names cause I kinda wanna stop using adjectives in my head,” Amanda asked.

“I’m Martin,” the leader said then pointed to the man with the circle around his eye “He’s Cross.” Cross then repeated his name only to be reprimanded by the next one “He’s Gripps and the little one is Vogel.” Vogel gave her a childlike smile with all teeth.

“Amanda.”

“Mm, we know,” Gripps said with a serious nod as he poured more sugar in his coffee.

“So are you friends of Dirk’s?”

“Who?” Vogel asked.

“The British guy I work with? The only other barista here?”

“That’s your friend!” Vogel called out in an offended tone.

“Then why is he always so…” she stopped and turned around where Dirk was being bombarded with customers. “Well fuck, looks like I have to go. Let me know if you need anything.” Amanda quickly left and went back around the counter. As she worked, she could feel their eyes on her which filled her with pride when she didn't mess up once.

By the end of the day, the men had left 30 minutes before closing as always, but the new change was hearing Vogel yell “Bye ‘Manda!”as they walked out. She looked up, stomach fluttering, and waved at them with a smile.

“Okay, _what. the. hell_?” Dirk asked.

“They’re really nice guys.”

“They really aren’t.”

“Also, they didn't seem to know you when I asked if you guys were friends since you know _so much_ about them.”

Dirk looked affronted at the insinuation of them being friends. “Like I would _ever_ be friends with the Rowdy Three.”

“There’s four of them,” Amanda stated in confusion.

“I’m wildly aware of that, thank you.” Sarcasm dripping off his tone. Amanda rolled her eyes and sighed.

“Well, whatever your beef is with them, it’s nonexistent on their end.”

Dirk held his tongue, not wanting her to be dragged into their mess and exhaled. They continued to clean down the coffee bar, collecting the pastries that didn't sell, and boxed them away to give to the nearby shelter. When she reached their table, she noticed the coffee had not been touched. She quirked an eyebrow, mildly insulted if she was going to be honest with herself, then threw them out anyway.

Across the street in their van, the Rowdy Three watched Amanda clean up the place before shutting the lights off and locking up.

_________________________________

 

The rest of the week went much like the day before. The Rowdy Three would come in and immediately sit in their booth then order their coffees. When she got the time, Amanda would chat with them before things got busy and at the end of the day, they would leave their coffees untouched - again. She didn’t ask why they don't drink it or even try to order something else, but she did find it weird.

She never noticed before, most likely cause Dirk usually took care of their things, but now that she’s been handling them she noticed a few more patterns:

  1. They don't move like normal people do. They tend to sense a person’s presence well before they get into their line of vision. It was almost…animalistic.
  2. They seem to “scent the air” a lot. It was as if they smelled some good food.
  3. They growl. At first she was in denial that she’d heard them do it, but this time for certain she knows that they legitimately can let out a really good growl. It had happened once when she was clearing up a nearby table and Dirk moved a little too close to her for their liking.



Dirk was at his usual spot at the counter, keeping an eye on the Rowdy Three as talked amongst and over each other. He noticed earlier Martin kept his eye up front where he was currently standing. At first he thought he was giving _him_ the death glare, but when he noticed his eyes following Amanda as she moved around the shop, he got the bigger picture.

Quickly he grabbed Amanda’s arm and dragged her into the kitchen space.

“Ow, Dirk what the fuck?” she exclaimed and yanked her arm out of his grip.

“They’re watching you.”

“What? Who?”

“You know who, the Rowdy Three.”

“Oh god, Dirk seriously?” Amanda closed her eyes and rubbed her arm; he grabbed it harder than he intended to. “Look, I get it; you want to protect me from the big bad men, but they haven’t _done_ anything wrong. If you have a problem with them then that’s _your_ issue not mine.”

“I don't want to see you get hurt.”

“Have they hurt someone? Like seriously, don't bullshit me.” If Dirk truly believed this then she will take it into consideration.

“No—I mean kinda, but not really.”

“I need more than ‘kinda, but not really’ Dirk. Have they hurt someone?”

“A few.”

Amanda inhaled and nodded. _‘Okay this is something to look into,’_ she thought. “Did it result in death?”

“No.”

“Hospitalization?”

“Maybe?”

“Was it you?” she asked a bit worried.

“No.”

She gave him a blank stare and crossed her arms. “Who did they hurt?”

“A few gents who acted less than savory.”

“So…they beat up some bad guys? Dirk, you do realize you just painted them in a _good_ light, right?”

“I mean, how good can someone _really_ be when they’re off scaring people and smashing things about with their bats a-and bricks?”

Amanda closed her eyes and rubbed the crease between her brows. “Okay, fine. I will be more cautious about them. However, I will not stop talking to them. I like them. They seem… fun.”

Dirk’s eyes nearly left his skull at the statement and had to stop himself from yelling _‘THEY SUCK MY ENERGY OUT DURING MY BREAKS!’_ “I can’t stop you, but just…be careful.”

“Okay, mom,” she teased in a doofy voice causing Dirk to smile at her. “Alright, let's get back out there. We got people to attend to.”

They stepped back out and froze when they noticed the Rowdy Three were now standing in front of the counter. They stood almost in formation as if they were ready to attack. Martin was up front, brows stern as he looked at her from above his thick rimmed glasses. Cross stood to the right of him, lip curled in a snarl. Gripps stood on Martin's left, his body frighteningly still. While Vogel was pacing in the back, but paused near Gripps' right when he noticed them come out. Amanda’s eyes quickly shifted over to where Farah was standing by her door, hand on her waist where she keeps her taser, as if she was ready for shit to go down.

“C-can we get you anything?” Dirk squeaked.

They stared him down, while Martin kept his eyes on Amanda. He quickly looked at her arm where Dirk had grabbed it, noticing the faint reddened skin, then back to her face. “More coffee.”

“Y-yeah,” Amanda stuttered before going over to the machine and pouring out new cups. Her skin prickled in goosebumps, but she wasn't sure it was from fear. “Extra sugar, Gripps?” she asked, looking back at him. He simply nodded while keeping his eyes on Dirk.  A few minutes later, she placed the cups down in front of them and offered the men a large smile to hide her nerves.

Martin placed the money on the counter before whistling between his teeth. Vogel left first, then Gripps, followed by Cross, and lastly Martin who kept his eyes on Dirk as he walked off, he briefly entered again to snatch some of the sanitizing wipes that was left out for customers before exiting. Slowly her smile dropped as they walked away. It was the first time in a while they didn’t say bye to her. Somehow that left her feeling cold.

“If they still seem like fun to you after that, then I gonna have to judge your form of entertainment,” Dirk said before cleaning up their table. Farah waited until she heard their van start up and drive off before she went back into her office and rewound the tape just to see the entire interaction again.

Something was off, but she wasn’t sure what. Upon reviewing the tapes, she noticed their heads snapped over to the counter and sprung into action the minute Dirk dragged Amanda away.

"Damnit, Dirk," Farah sighed and rubbed her temples, knowing they were going to take that out of him later.

 


	3. Four Quite Bitter Beings

Despite what transpired the day before, the men came in as per usual. Amanda wanted to confront them on their weird display yesterday, but the way Vogel’s eyes lit up when she approached them changed her tactic. None of them seemed to want to talk about it or event thought it was something to talk about, so she decided to let it slide.

She looked over at Martin who was constantly glaring at her arm. There was a tiny bruise from when Dirk grabbed her, but it didn't bother her much. If anything she could say she got it kicking someone’s ass to make it seem cooler. Even though it really looked more like she bumped it on a sharp corner. However, she was using it to milk free labor out of Dirk who felt guilty as it is already. _‘Guess he doesn't like it,’_ Amanda thought when Martin’s eyes strayed to her arm again.

Of course, the more she got to know them, the more she was able to pinpoint their specific character traits. Cross, liked to make them laugh, he was your regular class clown. He had an innate ability to read the air if there was any tension and his way of diffusing it was putting the attention on him for a quick laugh. Sometimes he's just unintentionally funny, which Amanda loved even more.

Vogel was just a sweetheart in how he spoke and how he had so much pent up energy; in the back of her mind she thought of an old classmate who had ADHD. His hands or feet were always tapping out a rhythm and when she could tell it was slightly getting on some customers' nerves, she'd gently place her hand over his or trap his feet between her own without drawing too much attention on what she was doing. One of these days she's going to get him a fidget cube or better yet, if they get close enough, she could let him have a go at her drum kit.

Gripps was a mathematical genius who's scarily great with numbers. She had seen him report back the exact number of people within the café and the exact number of seconds they had been sitting down that it had gotten to the point where she would randomly test him. She even filled a jar with 238 mint balls - she counted them herself when she was putting it in- and he guessed it just from looking at it. She had heard their van pulling up so she discreetly took out the mints to place on the counter. The lie she went with when Dirk asked was that it's for people to grab some if they wanted some. When she approached to greet them, Gripps immediately asked about them.

“Why do you have 238 mints on the counter?” he asked before she got a chance to open her mouth.

Amanda stared at him in shock and looked at the rest of the guys who seemed fairly chill about his hidden talent. “How’d you know?”

“It’s obvious,” was all he stated as an answer. Amanda wanted to test it out some more with how many grains of sugar was in the packet he was pouring out onto a napkin, but decided to let it rest. _‘It’s not like he’s a fucking vampire,’_ she mentally laughed to herself.

How she’d categorize Martin… well he was your typical silent type, your regular ol’ ‘too cool for school’ kind of a guy, but he had a dry sense of humor, told dad jokes, and loved ribbing on the rest of the guys much like an older brother would.

Her interactions with them had steadily been going on for around three weeks. Each week she wished to work enough courage to ask them to hang out or something, but it felt so...juvenile to her. Of course her brain went into overdrive one night and wondered do they even want her there? Were they tolerating her presence? Because they never indicated as much. Sure Vogel lights up when he sees her or when they're leaving, but was she bothering them? All those thoughts kept running through her mind, but things changed when she caught another glimpse of the dangerous side that Dirk may have been rambling about.

It was around 4:00 PM and not many people were left at the café. There had been an influx of customers earlier who used the shop as a means of keeping themselves warm, but they had since left.

The Rowdy Three were in their usual spot, boisterous as ever, when a man came in huffing into his cold hands. Dirk was in the office with Farah so Amanda was forced to put on her ‘customer friendly’ smile and greeted him.

“Hi, what can I get you?”

The guy was fairly attractive, golden brown hair that was buzzed along the sides, dark and straight brows that were quirked in a way that gave him a boyish charm. He was also dressed smartly in a dark grey double breasted peacoat and black slacks. After his hands warmed a bit and looked up at the voice speaking to him, he shamelessly gave Amanda the once over before smiling back at her. “Yeah, uh, can I get a medium mocha, a large macchiato with a shot of espresso, two cookies, and your number?”

 _‘Ah, well, guess he’s just nice to look at,’_ Amanda thought after he tact on the failed pickup line. Her smile didn't falter as she plugged in what he needed in the register.

“That’ll be $14.40.”

“Such a high price for your number,” he flirted as he handed her his credit card. She looked down the name on the card real quick; _'Hugo Friedkin,'_ she read in her head.

“Oh, that’s not happening,” she responded while slipping the card in the chip reader. Luckily it processed through quickly and she handed him his receipt. His brows furrowed a bit and signed the receipt.

“Maybe I can take you out for coffee…Amanda.” He squinted to read her name tag clasped on her apron.

“I work here…”

“A bar for drinks?”

 _‘_ _Geez he’_ _s desperate.’_ “No thank you. I’ll be right away with your order,” she said in a false upbeat voice. She turned around before he could try to say anything else and swiftly made his drinks. A few minutes later, his order was ready and she brought it over to him, along with his cookies.

“Well, then maybe we can—”

“Sir, please. I already said no.”

“It’s Hugo and it’s not like I’m asking for sex, just to go out for drinks,” his voice rose a little, causing the few people that were still left in the place to look up at them. Amanda nervously glanced around and noticed the Rowdy Three were already making their way over. They had been watching the encounter the minute he walked in. Martin already had the tendency to keep watch on anyone coming in, especially if Amanda was manning the register on her own. He had growled under his breath when Hugo walked in, which caused the other three to turn over and keep watch at what the man was up to. 

He smelled like Blackwing.

“Sounds to me like the lady said “No”,” Martin grumbled from behind Hugo.

“Dude, she’s just playing hard to get,” he said barely giving Martin a quick glance back.

“I’m really not,” Amanda muttered under her breath with a disgusted frown. Her disgust grew into anger at his next words.

“Listen, babe—” he was cut off when Gripps placed a large and heavy hand on his shoulder.

“She’s saying “No,” now grab your shit and let’s take a walk,” Cross said, leaning his elbow on the counter next to Hugo. Vogel was standing back by the door, fingers twitching incessantly and ready to fight. Hugo winced when Gripps tightened his hold and dug into his collarbone. He quickly grabbed this order as he felt himself being dragged out.

“Don’t—” Amanda started. Martin looked back at her after he signaled for the boys to go on without him.

“Don’t what?”

“Like …hurt him …or anything,” she mumbled, feeling strangely chastised at his tone. “I mean he was a total douche, but not beaten to a bloody pulp worthy.” Martin looked at her for a minute before lifting a brow and shrugged.

“Don’t worry we won’t. We’ll just teach him a lesson in manners.” He gave her a quick wink then left the café leaving Amanda to worry for twenty minutes on her own. The other patrons in the café looked at her and she smiled nervously at them.

Out back, Cross had his trusty crowbar against Hugo’s throat and kept him pinned to the wall. Once Martin had exited the café, he reached into his breast pocket for a cigarette. He doesn't get the chance to smoke as much when they sit in the café, he tried once before Amanda started working there, but Farah had slapped it out of his hand and stared him down. So really any chance he can get he goes through at least three. Luckily he managed to find one, unfortunately it was his last one. He lit it up as he came marching over to where his boys had Hugo and leaned into the Blackwing Agent’s ear.

“Tell Riggins we said ‘Hello’,” he said before punching him in the gut. Hugo hunched over and coughed as he tried to catch his breath.

Martin exhaled slowly, letting out a puff of smoke before offering the rest to Cross.

“How…do you know…Riggins?” Hugo gasped.

 _'Did he think they were dumb enough to believe him?'_ He pulled Hugo back up by his hair. “Do you know who we are boy?”

“N-no, I just needed coffee for me and Riggins.”

The four of them looked at each other, trying to figure out if this was a ruse, but the amount of fear and confusion that was wafting off of him was too real to be a set up.

“I'm going to say this only once, so listen up. Stay the hell away from Amanda and stay the fuck away from us. If we see _any_ of you Blackwing assholes _anywhere_ near us, we _will_ come for you. Do I make myself clear?”

“Ye-ye-yeah,” Hugo stuttered with a nod.

“Good," Martin nodded back. "Oh and one more thing,” he swiped hard across Hugo’s face causing the man to fall over, crying out in pain while holding his nose. “That was for Amanda.”

The men left him alone in the alleyway before walking back into the café. Martin stayed back to make sure Hugo left, also so he could buy some more cigarettes.

Amanda was biting her nails when they came in and almost relaxed when she noticed they were back to their lively selves, but when she didn't see Martin with them she started freaking out again. It wasn't until she caught sight of him outside the glass door, finishing off his smokes, did she truly calm down. Quickly she went over to them to find out what happened.

“So should I be worried about cops coming by to report a gang beating?” she half joked.

“If he knows what’s good for him he wouldn't,” Vogel laughed. Amanda's heart lurched in fear.

“I’m serious, though.”

“So are we, but nah you should be good,” Gripps said, pouring sugar in what had to have been cold coffee. Amanda sighed and plopped down in the vacant space they left for Martin. She looked out the window and watched him flick the cigarette butt away and walked back inside. Amanda shuffled over some, shifting Gripps while she was at it, so he could park himself next to her.

“Thanks,” she expressed with a smile. “All of you.”

“Anytime,” Martin said and bumped her shoulder with his.

Something had clicked within her when he said this. Amanda looked up at him with a more private smile before turning her attention to the rest of them as they recounted a story of when they had accidentally cause a bar fight. Amanda's eye lit up, rapt in the details Cross was interjecting, and wishing she was there with them. She wanted to be a part of this, whatever they were, she wanted in.

They were all so comfortable with each other that Martin unconsciously wrapped his arm around the back of the booth and Amanda just slipped into the little niche he created. None of them seemed to notice how well they fit together, not even when her side ended up pressed against his.

When Dirk and Farah finally left the office, completely missing all the action from earlier, they stopped in their tracks to watch the way Amanda laughed with the Rowdy Three. They had never seen her this... _happy_.

“Still think they’re gonna hurt her?” Farah asked, taking in how Amanda was leaning into Martin's space.

“No, but I don't like it.”

Farah clapped him on the back before she walked over to them to let the guys know it was closing time.

They all looked a bit crestfallen, but began shuffling out. As always Vogel called out to say his farewells to Amanda. She waved at them and let out a half dreamy sigh. _'Who knew having four dudes defend your honor would feel this nice,'_ she thought as she pushed past Dirk and Farah who were looking at her weirdly.

Again, across the street, the Rowdy Three were in their van and watched as Amanda locked up for the day. They usually waited around until she got a ride from her brother, which normally took about 10 minutes. However, it was pushing 30 minutes before Todd's beat up old car honked at her and she speedily walked over to it. They laughed when Amanda punched Todd's shoulder as her way of greeting him and of course due to his lateness. Martin didn't start up the van until the Brotzmans were completely gone from his rearview mirror.

 

 


	4. Shock & Terror

It had been snowing quite a lot these past few days which forced Amanda to either take the bus or get a ride from Todd. He already lived further than she did, so waiting on him to pick her up was becoming a hassle. They had to settle with her getting the bus more than half the time because Todd was either too tired or too hungover to pick her up in the mornings.

She has expressed a need of buying her own car, but Todd kept reassuring her that he’s going to work something out. Of course nothing has come to fruition a whole year later.

Todd also kept saying that he has a better chance at picking her up after work since she gets out an hour after his shift is done. However, there was still a disconnect for reasons unknown because 80% of the time she gave up trying to reach him and had to take the bus home. She's sure he's absentmindedly going straight home, especially if he had to work a double.

Today was one of those days where after calling him five times and he hasn't answered she opted for the bus. The only downside with the bus was that the nearest stop was about five blocks away. While during the other seasons that is a cake walk, in the dead of winter with two feet of snow, it’s anything but. Amanda sighed when Todd’s phone went to voicemail and bundled up the best that she could before stomping her way over. As she was walking, muttering angrily to herself, she noticed a large van had started up and slowly drove behind her.

 _‘I’m just being paranoid, right?’_ she thought. Amanda stopped and turned around which the van in turn also stopped; the headlights prevented her from seeing who exactly was following her. _‘Okay…don’t panic…what would Farah do?’_ she tried to calm herself down as she started walking again, this time a bit quicker, and the van picked up its pace as well. “Fuck it,” she said aloud and a few moments later she straight up started running only witness her bus leaving.

“Oh come the fuck on!” she yelled and stopped. She closed her eyes and tried to catch her breathing as the van pulled up and the side door opened. She got ready to prepare her fate when she noticed the familiar group of men. She glared at them for a bit before she climbed in and Gripps closed the door behind her. “You know you could’ve honked or something instead of following me like a bunch of creeps.”

“I did tell you we were crazy,” Martin said from his spot in the front seat.

“Dick,” she laughed. “Thanks by the way. The next bus would’ve been an hour and I already feel like my feet are frozen.” Cross rummaged around and tossed a blanket at her. “Thanks,” she smiled and wrapped herself up.

It was a bit scratchy, but it was thick and warm; everything she needed in life right now.

Martin began driving when she told him her address, casually looking back to watch her as well as to contribute to the conversations the rest were having.

“So do you all work and live together, cause I’ve been trying to compile information for like 8 months.”

“You’ve been watching us for that long?” Vogel asked. “Why?” he questioned, mildly suspicious.

“I…may have been bored as shit and don't really have many people to hang out with?” Amanda winced as she confessed. “Sorry, was that sad, creepy, or both?”

“Both,” Gripps stated as he shook a bottle of nail polish. Amanda laughed with an embarrassed blush. She was glad the van was so dark they couldn't see how red her cheeks had gotten.

“So….yes/no?” she asked when they still hadn’t said anything.

“We do,” Martin answered.

“Do you guys like work from home?”

“Kinda,” Cross smiled, knowing the cryptic answers were bothering her.

“Are you all gonna be dicks about this until I figure it out?”

“Maybe,” Vogel giggled.

“I don't know why I thought you guys were cool,” she joked and snuggled up more under the blanket. It smelled like them, which should’ve been gross since it was predominately leather, beer, and cigarettes; but strangely it made her feel calmer. There was a beat of silence before she spoke up again. “So when you’re not hanging out in the cafe, what _are_ you guys doing?”

“Finding shit to smash,” Cross answered causing the men to hoot and holler in excitement. Amanda was shocked at the sudden liveliness and laughed along with them.

“Can I come?” she found herself asking.

“You’d want to do that?” Martin asked and turned his head to look back at her.

“I—yeah. Sounds fun, actually. Better than playing the drums all day every Saturday.”

“Drummer girl,” Gripps said softly.

“We do this every day, Drummer. Not just a weekend activity.” Martin warned, immediately using her new nickname. Amanda shrugged. It’s not like she had other things to do except talk to Todd and her parents a few times a week. “What do you say boys? Show her the chops?” The rest of them started howling and Amanda gasped in amazement.

“Guess that's a yes,” Amanda chuckled.

Martin made a sharp turn away from the road that would've lead her home and she didn't even freak out. Gripps took her hand and started comparing nail polish colors to see which he liked best on her. She took out her cell and turned the flashlight on so he could see better in the darkened van. He ended up choosing the most vibrant green she has ever seen. She nodded her approval after he gave her a look of confirmation.

 _‘Live a little,’_ she thought to herself as he began painting. The most color she’s done on her nails have only been black and red and this one time white when she was in high school, but we don’t talk about those days.

He got as far as one hand before Martin slammed the brakes. Vogel and Cross fell over with their opened beer cans which Amanda narrowly avoided getting wet with. She got up to look out the windshield window to see what he stopped for and noticed the cop car.

Everyone piled out the van, weapons in hand and immediately started smashing up the car. Amanda was not going to lie, she was scared, but at the same time intrigued. She watched them break the side mirrors and headlights, cheering when they shattered a window in one take.

Slowly she got out, after making sure her nails were dry, and approached them. Martin picked up on her approach first and turned around to face her. They kept their eyes on each other; Amanda looking up at him as he stood on the trunk. She felt overtaken by the sheer power his position held.

Martin then plopped down on the trunk of the car, after smashing the lights on the roof, and offered her his bat. “Go on, live a little.”

She paused when he used the exact words she thought to herself a few moments ago and slowly took the bat. She walked around to find a good spot before she raised it and sung hard at the back window. When it shattered she couldn't help the shocked laughter of adrenaline that she let out. Martin hopped down and started pointing at different locations for her to break, causing more bursts of adrenaline to surge from her.

They continued demolishing the car until it was a complete wrecked mess. They all panted in exhaustion, with large smiles on their faces.

“Fuck that was way too fun,” Amanda chuckled breathlessly. “Thank you.”

“Welcome to the Rowdy Three,” Cross said and ruffled her hair. She hugged him and let out a content sigh with a smile. The rest crowded around her as well, to receive similar hugs, but also to smell the stronger scent her excitement caused. They eventually went back into their van and shared a few drinks before driving her back home.

Amanda had opted to sitting in the front with Martin after Gripps finished her nails. How he managed to do them neatly in a dark and moving vehicle she doesn't know. She was still huddled under the cover Cross gave her, not wanting to part with it, but also cause it was still cold in the van.

“Do you guys have a heater? How are you not cold?” She has noticed that even as the temperature dropped, they hadn’t worn much outerwear clothing. They still wore the same vests and leather jackets. Martin smiled at her trembling figure and immediately punched the heat on. Amanda let out a deep moan when the heat hit her and closed her eyes. She didn't think she was that tired until she woke up when Martin placed his hand on her shoulder to shake her. “Already?” Amanda groaned in protest.

“I drove around four times just to give you more time.”

Amanda blushed and took the blanket off. She turned around to say bye to the rest of the guys but they were knocked out in the back. Vogel was adorably sandwiched between Gripps and Cross. Gripps laid on his side and his outstretched arm was being used by Vogel as a pillow. Cross was curled in on his side and facing the youngest Rowdy. She carefully laid the blanket on them the best she could before exiting the van. Martin watched as she covered them up, even going so far as to reposition Gripps' arm a little bit so Vogel wasn't resting too much on a pressure point. When she left the van, he stepped out with her, lighting up another cigarette while he was at it.

“Didn't need to walk me to the door, but thanks,” she smiled.

“We look out for each other,” he murmured around his cigarette. Again she smiled and dug around for her keys in her bag.

“Well I had a lot more fun than I’ve had in a long ass time. So thanks, again.” Martin nodded and blew out some smoke.

“You let us know when you need to let off some steam.” He turned, ready to go back, but Amanda spoke up again.

“Just one more question!”

“Mm?”

“You guys don't like coffee do you?”

“Nah, tastes like shit no matter who makes it.”

Amanda laughed and shook her head incredulously. “Then why do you guys come in to the cafe, if you don't drink the coffee?”

“Why do you think, Drummer?” He winked at her then walked off. Amanda bit back a smile and unlocked her door; her cheeks were pink and hot to the touch with her blush.

She was too busy thinking about what he said that didn't seem to notice the missed calls from Todd on her phone when she plugged it in to charge.

____________________________

 

Amanda was so glad it was Saturday, her off day, and that Sunday the shop was closed. Her body has been feeling like death, most likely cause she's shuffling around in the snow all the time - _'Thanks Todd.'_ She got out of bed around 1:00 PM and stumbled her way into the bathroom. As she stared at her reflection in the mirror and rubbed her eyes, last night’s eyeliner had smeared and gave her the raccoon look, she smiled privately to herself when she saw her lime green polished nails.

_‘He really did an excellent job, like what the fuck.’_

While she was changing into some regular clothes, after a well-deserved bath, a frantic knock at her door scared her. Quickly she went to check the peephole and saw both Dirk and Todd standing outside.

“Okay…what?” she said upon answering.

“You didn't return my calls!” Todd said as he brushed past her to enter her place.

“You didn't return _mine_ you asshole. I could’ve froze to death.” She shoved his shoulder hard and walked into the kitchen. “Dirk, why are you here?”

“Well Todd called me when he couldn't get to you and you were last with the Rowdy Three whom I thought may have done something and…I will shut up now,” Dirk stopped at her death glare.

“For the last fucking time, THEY. WILL. NOT. HURT. ME.” she punctuated each word with a poke to his chest. “I need you to understand that. Secondly, yes I was with them because _someone_ said they would pick me up, but never did _nor_ did they answer my fucking calls. I was lucky they were still around cause they gave me a ride home.”

“They know where you live?” Todd asked in a worried tone.

“Do you know ‘em too?” Amanda sassily asked.

“No, but Dirk may have mentioned they’re dangerous.” Todd’s eyes did that shifty thing when he’s lying.

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Amanda sighed and made herself a bowl of cereal. “Anyway, you guys can clearly see that I’m safe and sound in my home so you can go now.”

“Their van is parked across the street,” Dirk said as he looked out the window. Amanda peeked outside and quirked her head.

“Okay…that is weird.” She put her bowl down, went into her room to put on her boots, and grabbed a random shoe. She stomped her way outside and tossed the shoe at them. “Stop being creeps and come in!” Amanda yelled from across the street.

“Amanda, no!” Dirk yelled from his spot by the window. The van opened and the Rowdy Three rambunctiously came out. Vogel somehow ended up on top of Gripps’ shoulders while Cross rolled out trying to finish up his beer. Martin calmly lit up another cigarette and shoved them all forward.

Amanda smiled at them when they made it over to her and gave them all a hug.

“You don’t have to wait out here to finish that, you know? I smoke too from time to time,” she told Martin, who didn't make any moves to walk into her place.

“I don’t mind the cold,” he said around his cigarette. He finished it fairly quick which Amanda was grateful for.

“Cool, now come in. I’m cold and my tits are gonna freeze and fall off.” She quickly ran back in, not noticing the shocked faces of the Rowdy Three.

Todd watched in fear as his baby sister hugged and chatted with these men Dirk had spoken so negatively about. She looked comfortable with them, almost too comfortable.

Dirk was following their every move, hoping they had stuck to their agreement of not dragging her into their business. Todd and Farah were the only ones that knew because they accidentally witnessed what the Rowdy Three can do. Amanda was innocent in all this and didn't have to know.

He tilted his head in confusion when he noticed Cross’s hand resting on her knee where they sat on the couch. _‘Are they…an item?’_ Vogel plopped himself on the ground between her legs and her hand immediately went to his hair. The energetic Rowdy, seemed to relaxed when her nails gently scratched at his scalp. Vogel then reached over to mess around with her stress toy. Amanda turned around to Gripps, who was rummaging around in her kitchen, and told him to check her top cabinet where she had a jug of sugar packets he could entertain himself with. Martin was sitting next to her with his arm draped over the back of the couch to which Amanda automatically slipped into his space without meaning to.

_‘When did all this happen?’_

“What were you guys doing here to begin with?” Dirk finally focused in on the conversation they were having.

“You said you wanted something more to do than play the drums all day,” Martin stated with a shrug.

“Fuck, I could’ve brought my guitar today,” Todd stated. The Rowdy Three simultaneously looked over and squinted their eyes at him. “Or…not…”

“ ‘Manda’s fine with us,” Vogel said from his spot on the ground. “Right, boss?” Amanda thought he was directing the last part to Martin, when she noticed he was tilting his head back to look at her.

“Oh… _oh me?_ Uh, yeah,” she laughed nervously. She turned to Dirk and Todd on the opposite chairs. “You guys can go, I’m fine. Todd, next time pick up your phone and Dirk not another word.”

“You have my number too, you know. I could’ve picked up you.”

“With what car?” Dirk opened his mouth then shut it again a few times. “Exactly. Guys you can go now, please.”

“Call me if you need anything?” Todd said as he got up, pulling Dirk along with him.

“Yeah, yeah.”

She got up to lock the door, but when she turned around the Rowdy Three were all standing as well.

“Back in a few,” Martin grumbled.

“Are you going to beat them up?” Amanda asked mildly fearful. This is the second time she’s witness them abruptly leave when she’s been bothered and she didn't want to give her brother and Dirk even more reasons why she should keep away from them.

“Not unless they hurt you.” Was all she was given before they left. She went over to the window to check if she could see them, but they just got in the van and drove off.

Around 2:30 PM, the four of them were back and Amanda was slightly annoyed leading to pissed. She knew something was up, she just didn't know what. She felt hurt at the fact that it seemed like they were hiding something from her, even when she knows she hasn't known them long enough to validate feeling this way.

When they knocked on her door and she stood on the opposite side with her arms crossed.

“ ‘Manda let us in!” Vogel yelled.

“What’re you hiding?” she retorted.

“What do you mean?” Cross yelled this time.

“Something was up with the way Todd and Dirk showed up. Then you guys were already here. What is going on?”

“You gonna let us in so we can talk or do you want your neighbors to know?” Martin called out.

Angrily she opened the door and stared at them for a few seconds before scoffing and walking into the living room.

“I know I’m just like the “newbie,” but I feel like I’m walking into _something_ serious and no one is telling me. I’ve had loads of missed calls from Todd before, but he’s never reacted like this to the point where Dirk is with him. So I’m going to ask right now, and I don't want any bullshit cryptic answers, what are you hiding?”

The four men looked at each other, trying to figure out if they would keep their word or not.

“We kinda know the British guy from this one thing this one time,” Gripps stated. Amanda pointed an angry finger at him.

“What did I say?” She tossed one of her throw pillows at him which he easily caught.

“Drummer, that’s the best answer we can give you. We’re men who have and continue to do some crazy things. You saw, last night, that's what we do.” Martin said trying to placate her as she reached for another pillow.

“I’m fine with your anarchist ways, but they’re acting like your murderers.”

“We aren’t, but we can be if we’re not careful,” Cross absentmindedly said. Amanda let out an annoyed noise and threw the pillow, hitting him on the forehead.

She sighed and sat on the couch. “I just want some people I can trust and feel comfortable with. I don't want to be “Todd’s little sister” all the fucking time. I don’t want to be bored out of my ass doing absolutely nothing, but going to work each day. I just need you guys,” she said softly admitted knowing it sounded needy.

Cross knelt down in front of her, taking both her hands in his. “We aren’t telling you because we need you to be safe. You can throw the whole couch at me for saying that, but this is what we have to do.”

“But can I trust you?”

“Always,” he smiled. Amanda hugged him and sighed. How was it that these four, possibly homeless, men made her feel more comfortable, sane, and safe than anyone has her whole life?

“Can we go out now?” Vogel asked, clearly itching for some destruction. All of them looked to her for an answer and she nodded.

“Let me just grab my things.”

The men hollered while she packed a small bag of snacks and grabbed her aluminum bat.

____________________________

 

This continued for a few weeks. The Rowdy Three would come in at the same time, but now they always waited for her so they could give her a ride home or somewhere in town to blow off some steam.

Some days consisted of destroying cars in an abandoned lot then dancing and drinking around a bonfire. Other days they would take up on her offer to come inside when it got too cold and have a small party at her place. She’s even played the drums for them when they nagged her enough times about it. Or when she’s got enough alcohol in her, at least then she could blame her mistakes on that and not her nerves.

One of those drunken nights, she was drumming away before passing the sticks to Vogel. He couldn't quite get the rhythm of hitting the high hats and the bass drum, but Amanda knew he would keep at it until he could. Eventually it became Vogel on the bass drum, Gripps on the cymbals, and Cross with the snare drums. Normally she would freak that they were going to break it, but she was too busy laughing. Somehow she ended up sitting on Martin's lap, who adjusted himself so they were both comfortable as they watched the boys bang away on her kit.

This was a new development that was happening with the bond she was forming with them. They did things that would range from sisterly to motherly and at random moments, to lovers. It freaked her out the first time she wanted to kiss Cross. It had happened when she was listening to a story of his. She was looking at him, nodding her head and laughing at the right moments, but all the while she felt the strange urge to kiss him. She didn't of course, but it had been so strong she swore she was about to lean over the table and make out with him.

A few days later she ended up having that same pull towards Gripps after he had lifted her up so she could sit on the roof of the van. She had been complaining about wanting to be taller so he had offered to lift her up, but instead he tossed her up there like she was a doll. Amanda let out a mouse like squeak as she landed which caused him to have a full on belly laugh, dodging her hands when she looked over the top to swipe at him. The absolute joy twinkling in his eyes sent the same random itch to grab him by the cheeks and kiss him.

The one that freaked her out the most was Vogel. He’s always treated her like one of the boys, never acknowledging her gender once or using it as a reason as to why she couldn't do or say something. She was just ‘Manda’ or ‘Boss’ to him. He's even referred to her as "a little guy" once. Gripps had decided they should take Amanda somewhere to relax after a stressful week had her snapping at people left and right, she even had a moment towards them which she instantly apologized for with the blank stares they gave her. They ended up on the outskirts in the woods, which she didn't figure would be the best place, but after they took her along the river side she changed her tune. While the boys had been asleep, Amanda and Vogel had been walking along a creek because he was still wired. She _suggested_ walking, but somehow it turned into him having to chase her. They had been having too much fun that she didn't notice she was nearing an edge until he snatched her back with his quick reflexes.

“You good, Boss?” he panted in her ear. Amanda nodded jerkily and breathing just as heavily. Her back was pressed firmly against his chest and his arms were around her waist and chest. Unfortunately, the arm across her chest caused one of his hands to rest her breasts when he caught her. He didn't notice until he shifted and felt a hard nub under his palm. “Shit, sorry.” He released her and continued on his way. Amanda's back soon felt cold after he walked off and her mind kept reeling on the whole encounter as she watched his retreating figure. She had stood there trying to discern if her urge to kiss him was because he saved her life or something completely different. She went with something different, when she thought back to how his voice sounded in her ear. He didn’t say anything about it or even make it awkward for her when she finally caught up to him.

With Martin, she’s always had the desperate desire to kiss him. It wasn’t hard to want it, not with the way he carried himself. The night they first drove her home and he walked her to the door was when she knew this would become a thing for her. That is why when the air started changing between the two of them, she reveled in it. It started off small like how he didn’t keep his distance like he used to; he was somehow always there. Sometimes right behind her and she’d chuckle nervously when they bumped into each other. He’d just give her a wink before continuing on. Then it became them just falling into each other's space, her body would gravitate towards his without even noticing until they simply crashed into each other.

Amanda had also been dreaming about him lately, all of them really, but him in particular. The dreams would range from something innocent like the one where they were on a road trip to her waking up horny and wet, feeling the phantom fingers of one of their touch. The first dream she had of him had her panting in bed and grinding into the scrunched up sheets underneath her. It wasn't until she came did she realize what happened. 

These days, those dreams have been coming up more and the focus had officially shifted to Martin. Nights when she had those dreams she could never look them in the eyes the following day. She swore they were able to tell what she dreamt of whenever they saw her. Especially with those private and knowing smiles they’d give her. 

Things had been going perfectly, in the weird way that their friendship got be. So it shouldn't have been much of a shock that things got fucked.

One evening while Dirk had left to throw out the day’s trash, Amanda noticed one bag that was still by the bin and ran out to give it to him. She stepped out back, but didn't see him by the dumpster where they normally throw their trash out at.

"Dirk?" she called out, but didn't get a response back. She heard his scared little yelp and ran over to him, thinking he saw a big rat or something that’d freaked him out.

However, she stopped dead in her tracks when she noticed a bluish glow coming from the dimly lit part of the alley. Cautiously Amanda approached and noticed Dirk on the ground with the Rowdy Three surrounding him. The blue light was coming from them, but it also seemed like it was coming out of Dirk. She must’ve stood too close cause next thing she knew Martin’s head snapped over to her and the larger, bluish projection of him zapped right into his body. The others stopped and looked over at her as well, but before they could say anything she ran away.

 


	5. Head for a Breakdown, Deceit is Striking Gold

Amanda ran back into the cafe, grabbed her bag, and booked for the bus. She didn't care that she was supposed to lock up for the day; Dirk would have to take care of that. Luckily a bus was pulling up when she got there and she immediately sat in the back once she got on.

She was sure she probably looked crazy, especially when she been in such a rush to get away from the place that she left her jacket back in the cafe. Her phone buzzed, flashing Dirk’s number. She hit ignore and closed her eyes trying to calm down. Her heart was racing a mile a minute and tears were threatening to spill from her eyes. Her phone buzzed again with a text from Dirk, then again from Todd, another buzz for a call from Todd; she turned her phone off and let the night’s events run through her head.

Dirk always said they were dangerous, but what the fuck were they doing to him? Was it going to kill him? Did they always do this? Was this the real reason they showed up at the shop? Despite what Martin had told her all those weeks ago, she couldn’t help but doubt it now. When the bus reached her stop, it was like she was on autopilot and moved without even thinking about it. She walked out in a daze, entered her home, and immediately crashed into bed.

She woke up the next morning, still feeling like shit, and fumbling to turn her phone on. She was immediately greeted with 20 missed messages and calls notifications. She also noticed that she’s three hours late for work. There was no way in _hell_ she was going back over there. A loud knock at her door caused her to jump before she cautiously approached it. Peeking through the peephole she saw Farah standing there with her jacket.

“Amanda open up, I know you’re in there.”

Amanda moved back and sighed. _‘No time like getting fired after finding out your “friends” aren’t even human…or are they?’_ she thought to herself.

“Can I at least stay on until you find my replacement?” she asked when she let Farah in.

“Your replace—what?” Farah shook her head in confusion. “No, Amanda, you’re not being fired.”

“Oh, great I guess. I…you know Dirk has always said that those guys were scary and I never believed him cause they were always so nice to me. But they’re like not even normal people. Like supernatural not normal. So I think maybe they shouldn't be allowed back and why don't you look surprised?” Amanda rambled.

“I knew,” Farah sighed.

“You knew? So when Dirk was saying all that “they’re dangerous” stuff you what, ignored him?”

“This isn’t my story to tell really. Just that wherever Dirk goes, they follow.”

“And suck whatever the fuck that was out of him!” Amanda exclaimed before calming herself down.

“He’s safe, not even injured just tired.”

“Oh that makes things better,” Amanda yelled sarcastically. “Did Todd know? Is that why the three of you are a throuple?”

“Wha-what?!” Farah stuttered.

“You’re Todd’s girlfriend and Dirk and Todd are boyfriends…am I wrong?”

“No, but…that’s kinda why, but not really.”

“So Todd knew too?”

Farah nodded reluctantly. “We really didn't want to drag you into this mess.”

“So, what am I supposed to do now?” Amanda asked, genuinely feeling lost.

“If you want to take a few days off, you can. You’re not fired.”

“I should quit,” she muttered. “A full week, paid.”

“Yes,” Farah nodded. “A paid week off.”

“Not including my unused PTOs,” Amanda fought. If she was going to work with liars and backstabbers then she really deserved it.

Farah grumbled and sucked her teeth. “Not including your PTOs,” she said with a forced smile.

Amanda smiled just as fake right back and shook her hand. “You can go now.” She turned away and slammed the door to her room.

Farah rubbed her forehead and called Todd. “Cat’s out the bag. Call me,” she said as she walked out.

_________________________________ 

 

Amanda laid in her bed, smoking weed to calm herself down, but it somehow just added onto the numb feeling she already was dealing with. After she finished, she rolled onto her side and stared at her bat wanting nothing more than to break shit, but she couldn't; not without them.

As tears flooded her vision, she buried her face into her pillow and allowed herself to cry herself to sleep. She slept the entire day away and woke up the next morning around 10:00 AM and it was essentially a rinse and repeat of the day before.

The whole week she had off, Amanda ignored all texts and calls from Dirk and Todd. When her parents called to ask why she was avoiding Todd, she would either skirt around the question or just state that he lied to her about something major. If that caused them to badger _him_ with question then good for his ass.

A few times during that week, she wasn't sure if she was going crazy, but she swore she heard or saw the Rowdy’s van.

It was nearing the end of her week off and she was truly dreading it. The whole time she just slept, smoked, drank, and belligerently played her drums until her neighbors complained. Eventually Monday rolled around and she had to report to work. When she came in, Farah and Dirk were in the middle of a conversation but stopped once she walked in. Amanda ignored them and went to drop her things off in the back and put on her apron. The two of them simply stared at her, hoping to catch her attention, but it was clear she wasn’t going to give them that.

Amanda began her usual routine of cleaning the machines, making the coffee, and setting the pastries up again.

“Amanda…” Dirk started only to get a middle finger shoved in his direction. “Right,” he muttered, looking down. She only spoke to the both of them when she _absolutely_ needed to.

At their usual time, the Rowdy Three came in and Amanda didn't approach or even looked at them. She could feel their eyes on her, but just like she did earlier to Farah and Dirk, she ignored them.

Throughout the day, they did try to approach her, but she would simply go into the kitchen area and wait them out. The only time did she actually look up at them was when Martin whistled to the boys so they could leave.

She watched as they exited and drove off; they didn't return for the rest of the day. She let out a shaky breath and wiped her eyes as tear threatened to spill. She went to clear up their table and noticed they didn’t even order their usual coffee. Letting out a slow breath, she sniffled turned to go back to the front.

“You…you can take a break if you need to,” Dirk whispered to her. Amanda wanted to continue on, just to spite him, but when the pain got too strong she nodded and walked out back for a smoke break.

The rest of her days were much like that where the Rowdy Three would attempt to talk to her or hope she would be ready to do so, but she would bypass them entirely.

After two weeks, they seemed to take the hint and eventually they stopped coming in. However, that didn't stop them from waiting across the street to make sure she was ok. Amanda put on a brave front, but the minute they stopped showing up her heart felt like it broke even more.

I mean what did she honestly expect, she wasn’t as welcoming as she used to be, and people could only take being brushed aside for so long. But even so, she somehow felt more abandoned. Her days started to drag and her after work life felt duller than it did before. Amanda was on her way home one evening and caught sight of the Rowdy’s van. Sighing she walked away and waited for the bus, even though it took longer than it needed to due to delays.

The whole time she waited, she could see their van waiting just around the corner. The only time she acknowledged them again was as she was boarding the bus. 

The Rowdy Three watched silently from their van as the bus drove by before they made their own way home. They knew she wanted her space, hell she might even be done with them entirely, but her scent from her anger had changed and no longer smelled like singed hair. She more smelled sad, like wet grass as Vogel stated.

After four weeks of wallowing over the weekends and becoming even more of a recluse, Amanda figured she needed to spend the night out. Fuck sitting in her room feeling sorry for herself. She was going to paint the town red.

She sat in front of her vanity mirror, still clad in her towel from her shower, and applied a dark smokey eye. She had smoked the last of her weed earlier and decided she’d drink while she was at it, calming herself down some more as she blended her eye shadow. Amanda stared at herself in the mirror, wishing she was someone completely different. She didn’t want to be herself, not tonight. That is why she decided to go the whole nine yards with her makeup. She bronzed, contoured, blushed, highlighted, and wore her best lip liner and nude lipstick combo.

Not wanting to stop with her transformation, she curled her hair and put it in a stylistically sloppy bun; letting a few tendrils on the back and side loose. Amanda looked down at her chipped lime green nails and felt an overwhelming sense of sadness. _‘Take it off, start over. You’re different tonight,’_ she thought to herself, but the minute she took out the polish remover and cotton, she sighed and put them back.

Her nails were the one thing that reminded her of them and she couldn't part with it, despite her current feelings towards them.

Once she was done with her hair and makeup, she went over to her closet and rummaged around for the clothes she _never_ wore. They were clothes that her old friends and her mom had given her, but they were so… _not_ her that she just shoved them in the back. She managed to find the perfect dress to go with the person she wanted to be tonight then grabbed her clutch that still had the paper stuffing and tag on it, and marched out the door. The snow was still on the ground, albeit shoveled over to pile up on the sides, but that didn't deter her from wearing her skimpiest dress. 

She was delightfully tipsy as she waited for her Uber to the nearest club; she really didn't see herself waiting for a bus at this time and in what she had on. She had on a large faux fur coat Todd gave her, her best 6 inch heels, and her little black sequin dress. _‘I probably look like a prostitute,’_ she thought as she slid in the car.

Once the car pulled up to the club, she immediately beelined over to the bartender and asked for two shots of tequila. She threw them back like they were nothing, shivered at the taste then requested a Long Island. By that point she felt…weightless.

Amanda’s dazed eyes turned to the crowd, watching everyone dance so carefree, then made her way over. The music was shit, but it was loud and she was drunk enough that it was perfect. She swayed a little bit, her hair slowly falling from the bun she had put it in and the coat was slowly slipping off her shoulders as she danced. She closed her eyes and moved her body along with music; everything felt like it was in slow motion as she whipped her hair around. Sweat was forming along her neck the more she danced and drank. A few people danced along with and around her before she opened her eyes and saw a familiar face staring at her amongst the crowd.

“Hugo?” she questioned and drunkenly moved closer to him. “You gonna ask me to dance? Hmm?” she smiled at him while sliding her hands up his chest.

“How much have you had to drink?” he asked as she ran her finger along his jaw.

“Not enough to give you my number,” she teased with a laugh and turned away with him in tow.

“Are they with you?”

“Who?”

“The guys, the scary ones.”

“Pffft, those assholes? No and fuck ‘em!” she slurred before taking a shot. _‘Maybe I should slow down,’_ she thought briefly. The bartender slipped her a cup of water which she grimaced at but drank anyways.

Hugo smiled and placed his hand on her lower back. “Want to get out of here?”

Amanda had figured ‘why not’ she hasn't had sex in a while and could use some company. “Dance with me first,” she whispered in his ear.

Hugo smiled and pulled her closer so her body was flush against his. He walked her towards the crowd and spun her around so his chest was pressed along her back. Amanda’s logical side tried to come through as he kissed down her neck and cupped her breasts, but she pushed it aside. _‘Just let me be someone else tonight,’_ she begged to herself.

Amanda turned around and Hugo slipped his hand under her coat to grab her ass. “Ready now?” he asked as he ground his semi against her hip. She shrugged sloppily which caused a satisfied smile to spread along Hugo’s face before they went outside to his car. He pressed her against the passenger door and kissed her, it wasn’t the best thing but it was enough for what she needed right now.

They continued to kiss, his hands roaming her body some more, before Amanda pulled away for air.

“You’re not fucking me in this are you?” she asked as he ground himself against her.

He snapped his head away from her neck and answered sincerely. “No, back at my place.” He went around and got in the car, unlocking the passenger side so she could get in. “Why, did…did you want to? Cause I don’t mind public sex, just don’t want to mess this up,” he continued as he pulled out of his spot and started driving.

“Ugh, not if you wanted puke on your dick,” she groaned and rolled the window down. The car was either new or a rental cause it smelled extremely of fresh leather. She buckled herself in and looked out the window. They didn't hold much of conversation which was fine by her. She really just needed him for one thing, but the longer they stayed quiet, the more time she had to think about the situation.

 _‘Do you really want to go home with this guy?’_ she thought to herself. _‘I mean he’s cute,’_ she glanced at him as he drummed his thumbs on the steering wheel to the music playing. He looked over at her and smiled when he caught her staring. When they pulled up at a red light, he leaned over and kissed her again.

Not wanting to lose the momentum she was in, she reached over and cupped his cock through his pants as she slowly she kissed back. It was annoying her that she was not really feeling much of anything; her drunk goggles were disappearing at this point. _‘_ _Geez, he’s all tongue,’_ she thought in disgust as she started sobering up. “Green means ‘go’,” she murmured to pull away from the kiss and removed her hand from his crotch. He chuckled and placed a hand on her left thigh as he drove forward.

When he finally made it to his place, she was a lot more lucid and realized this isn’t what she wanted. As much as she wanted to be a new person, she couldn’t just _give_ her body away like this.

“Hugo…” she started.

“Yeah?” he turned to her while pulling his keys out of his pockets.

“I…I don't think I want to do this tonight.”

“Oh, okay. Tomorrow then?”

Amanda closed her eyes and shook her head. “This was a mistake. I was just really mad and felt sorry for myself and I’m sorry, but not tonight or tomorrow. It’s a never.”

“I don't…but we had a connection back there?” He sounded so genuinely confused that she almost felt bad for him.

“We really didn’t. I’m sure you can be a nice guy, but you’re just really dense.”

“And you’re just a cocktease!” he yelled and went into his place, slamming the door behind him. Amanda stood there for a while before turning around to throw up. Incidentally, it was all over his car.

 Amanda drunkely chuckled at the mess she made before walking off and attempted to figure out where the fuck she was. It was a sobering experience to say the least. She tried to follow the map on her phone, but her phone was already at 10% and was steadily dropping.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, please don't…die,” she begged her phone as it powered off. “Oh, fuck.”

She walked around hoping to find someone to help her, but it was nearing 2AM and the streets were empty. She went for as long as she could before sitting on a stoop to give up. Finally, after a whole month of feeling like absolute shit, she let herself cry. Her eye makeup was turning into a mess on her face, but that was the least of her problems.

She wasn’t sure how long she had been sitting out there, but the dropping temperature caused her to huddle into her coat but it didn't do much for her legs. After 10 more minutes, she sniffled and got up. _‘No use crying about it.’_

Amanda was almost tempted to turn around to beg Hugo to drive her home, but with the mess she made on the side of his car, she highly doubts he would be open to helping her. Trembling, she continued on her way to find a store or gas station, but at this point she couldn't feel her legs and toes anymore.

She kept going, even though she felt herself getting sleepier and her body felt like it was made out of lead. As she felt herself slowly slipping out of consciousness, she spotted a familiar van pull up around the corner.

The door ripped open and Gripps immediately wrapped her in the blanket and carried her inside. The last thing she remembered before passing out was Martin turning the heater on and the gentle smile Gripps gave her as he huddled her in his arms.

Martin parked haphazardly in front of her place and cut the engine. Vogel was digging in her clucth to find her keys while Cross carried her shoes and some of their belongings.

“Get her in the bathroom. Make sure the water is hotter than it is warm, but don't dump her in,” Martin called out as he rummaged around for her towels and comforters.

They let the hot water run in the bathroom so she could warm up on her own. Her body started trembling and felt cool to the touch. Cross knelt down and gently stroked her cheek with the back of his hand to wake her up.

“Hey, Drummer, we’re gonna need you to wake up right now okay?”

Amanda groaned and blinked at him slowly. “Sick.”

“Aw, shit,” Gripps repositioned her so she could throw up in the toilet, holding her hair back as she did so. Once she was done, she flushed, wiped her mouth, and slid into the small sliver of space between the toilet and tub. Her small body was still racked with tremors, her teeth almost rattling.

“Wh’t’re you doing here?” she slurred looking at them.

“We look out for our own,” Vogel said.

“Am I though?” she asked. Her tears building up again in her messy eyes once more.

“We can talk about this later. You need to warm up,” Martin scolded. He turned the cold water on so he could properly draw a warm bath for her. She silently watched as he dipped her finger in to see if the water was just right. “Good?” he asked when she didn't flinch away. Amanda nodded which Martin returned. “Let’s give her some privacy boys.”

“Help me?” she asked. Martin picked her up from the floor and got ready to leave, but she held onto his forearm. “Wait.” He raised an eyebrow as she turned around and pointed at the zipper on her dress. “Help me,” she repeated. Martin unzipped her, purposefully ignoring the fact that he didn’t see a bra strap.

“You good?” he whispered. She looked back at him and nodded. “We’ll be right outside,” and with that he left.

Once she was alone, she let out a small pained exhale. Amanda was still so tired, hurt, and mad that she started crying again. The Rowdy Three forced themselves to stay out of the bathroom despite hearing her cry and plopped themselves down on the floor.

Amanda let the dress slip from her body and removed her underwear before slowly sinking into the bathtub. The water felt really good, but that didn't stop her body from trembling. She applied her makeup remover, lathering it up, then laid back to slowly let herself submerge in the water.

The sound around her got garbled, but cleared her mind up. 10 minutes later she got out and wrapped herself and her hair in the towels Martin had brought in. She opened the door and was a bit startled at how they were all sitting along the wall outside the bathroom that up to her bedroom door.

Amanda shuffled past them and into her room so she could change into her night clothes which consisted of an oversized shirt and some shorts. She was standing in the middle of her bedroom, wondering if she should ask them to stay. Though she wanted _all_ the explanations, she was too cold to handle anything else. Right when she was about to ask them, she caught their silhouette outside her door.

She looked over at them, body still twitching from the cold, and nodded at their silent question. They had taken off their shoes and crawled into the bed with her. She was glad she splurged with a full size bed, but she still had to lay half on top of Martin just so they all could cuddle around her.

Martin was on his side and backed against the wall, Amanda was squished onto him, Vogel was behind her with his arm draped over her and Martin, while Cross and Gripps were at the rear. Amanda closed her eyes, forehead resting on Martin’s collarbone, and tried to go to sleep.

Her tremors kept on for a while before they finally stopped. Once her body had calmed down enough, the Rowdy Three sighed and fell asleep as well.

 

 


	6. Don't Close Your Heart

The next day Amanda woke up sweaty and pressed between two firm bodies. They had shifted around last night and Vogel was currently cuddled into Cross while she was still lying on Martin. She rubbed her eyes and looked up at Martin who was asleep but without his glasses. 

 _‘He must’ve removed them some time during the night,’_ she thought.

He seemed less threatening and more...soft without them on. Chipped lime green nails ran along the shell of his ear, grazing the hooped earrings he wore, then moved over the band-aid he had on the bridge of his nose. She somehow never noticed he always had it there, wondering what happened to him. She then scratched through his beard and smiled at the white streaks among the black. Martin opened his eyes at the gentle tug and looked down at her; he had been awake the minute he felt her hand hovering over his ear. 

His large hand took hers and brought them to his lips. Martin kept eye contact with her as he placed a small kiss on the tips of her fingers. They silently stared at each other for a bit before Amanda leaned up to press a kiss on his cheek. She then carefully extracted herself from the warm cavern the Rowdy Three created for her and went to the bathroom to wash up. 

Amanda stumbled in and stared at her reflection in the mirror. _‘What the hell was that back there?’_ she questioned herself.  She was fighting with her emotions of being elated that they’re here with her and pissed that they kept something this big a secret from her. 

After she was done, she looked around in her cabinets for spare toothbrushes. She managed to find an open pack and left it on the counter for them. 

_‘Guess I should offer them some breakfast for what they did for me last night.’_

When she went back to her room, the men were awake and sitting on her bed looking tired to all hell. Her intermittent shivering had kept them up all night as well as the tight space.

“I got some extra toothbrushes in the bathroom when you need to use it,” she said from her spot by the door.

“Thanks,” Cross grunted for the group. 

“Do you guys like waffles or pancakes?” 

“Pancakes,” Vogel, Cross, and Martin said. 

“Waffles,” Gripps singularly responded. 

Amanda gave him a small smile with a nod and went to the kitchen. She knew they weren’t the type to drink coffee, but she personally needed a cup alongside her painkillers. “I don’t know what you guys like to drink, but you can help yourselves to what’s in the fridge,” she muttered when she heard them come in and sat at the table. 

“Drummer,” Cross started, but stopped when her shoulders stiffened. Turns out she wasn’t ready to talk about it after all. She continued mixing the batter and poured it on the buttered waffle iron. She made two large waffles for Gripps, who proceeded to fill each square perfectly with syrup, then started to make the pancakes. The kitchen was silent and uncomfortably so. Amanda wasn’t sure she was ready to hear their whole story; she was just too drained by the whole experience.

15 minutes later she had finished the stacks of pancakes for the rest of them. “Enjoy. I’ll be in my room,” she left the kitchen, uncaring of the unwashed dishes, and went back to sleep. The Rowdy Three looked at each other, before silently eating. Once they were done, Martin ordered them to clean up the kitchen while he went back to her room. 

He thought she would’ve been awake, but hiding away. However, that wasn’t the case when he caught her sleeping figure. He sat on the edge of the bed to keep watch over her and opened up a random book he saw on her dresser to kill time. When she woke up again, Martin was still deep in her book before he looked over at her. “Where are the rest of the guys?” she asked with a croaked voice. 

“Quick errand.” Amanda hummed in response, knowing it wasn’t as straightforward as she thought, none of what they said or did was straightforward to her anymore. She groaned as she sat up, playing with a loose thread on her sheets. “You gonna give us the silent treatment again or you ready to talk?” 

“Honestly, I don’t know.” 

Martin turned his body towards her some more as he put her book down. “Drummer, we didn’t tell you because we didn’t want you to be roped up into our shit.” 

“But Farah and Todd are fair game?” she fought back. 

“If your brother and his girlfriend weren’t dating that loser then they’d be out of it too.” 

Amanda fidgeted with the sheets over her legs again before asking her next question. “What are you guys?” 

“Human.”

“But something more?” 

Martin nodded, he was itching for a cigarette at this point. He had been stress smoking the entire time they lost contact with her, not that he wasn’t already a chain smoker, but with everything that had happened he went at it even harder. “We’ve been called _‘Energy Vampires’_ as the easiest way to describe it. We eat neurological energy.” 

“So like, people’s emotions?” 

“Yeah, mostly fear since that’s easier to drive out.” 

Amanda bit her lip and looked away; the statement did kind of freak her out. “Were you guys ever going to do that to me?”

“No, never regular people,” he answered adamantly. 

Her head snapped back over to him in shock. “Dirk isn’t regular?” Martin shook his head at the question. “How did you know? Did you attack him and realized he wasn’t dead afterwards?” she jeered.

“We were lab rats for the same fucking government agency,” he snapped back. The room was tense before he spoke again. “They called themselves Blackwing.”  Amanda looked down, chastised at taunting him. 

“You guys were experimented on?” she asked in a quiet voice. 

“Put in cages, forced to use our ‘powers’ so they could find out the results. Most likely they were planning to weaponize us, how fucking original. One day they put us with Icarus, Blackwing’s project name for Dirk,” he supplied at the eyebrow quirk she gave him. “They had starved us for two months and that’s how we knew he tasted the best and didn’t get sick like the other test subjects.” 

Amanda’s eyes filled with tears as she heard their story. “How long were you there?” 

“Vogel was only for one and a half years, he was young; too fucking young. We knew we had to get out so he wouldn’t be like us, stuck in there for 10 years.” 

“Fuck,” Amanda sighed. She wondered how long Dirk was in there, how long were they following him and eating his fear.

“We broke out, and incidentally everyone else, but we just needed Vogel to be safe. It’s been us four ever since.” 

“How’d you find Dirk if everyone went their separate ways?” 

“We have a great sense of smell. You don’t forget Icarus’.” 

“What do I smell like?” Amanda asked out of curiosity. 

“Hazelnut.” 

Amanda laughed and wiped her eyes. She thought back to what Farah had told her about them following Dirk. “Were you guys at the cafe just because of Dirk?” 

Martin looked at her, knowing why she asked. “It started out that way; it’s an easier way to get what we need without hurting innocent people. But then one day we smelled you, as weird as that shit sounds. It was the day you must’ve interviewed or something cause it was just one day. We kept coming in and waited until it popped up again. Then a week later lo and behold there’s someone with Icarus who smells like hazelnut and we knew it was you.” 

Amanda bit her lip, shocked they had been waiting for her. “How were you sure it wasn’t like a pastry or coffee or something?” 

“We can tell the difference between artificial and natural scents.” 

“Why didn't you guys ever approach me?” she shyly asked. It would’ve saved her a lot of time being chickenshit behind the counter. 

“You always smelled scared,” he started. “That was until you marched up to us and asked for our order. Even though you were still scared to shit.” 

Amanda blushed, remembering how nervous she had been all those months ago. “I’m sure the reason why you guys were at the cafe was for my scent and Dirk’s fear, but why order coffee when you hate it though?” 

“Can’t get kicked out of a place for coffee refills,” he smirked.

“Does Dirk know the main reason why you guys follow him?” 

“Maybe. Though he scares real easily and we figure if he knew it was for a noble cause, he might not get scared anymore. Some days we don't actually follow him out. We intimidate him and when he least expects it…” Martin trailed off with a shrug. Amanda nodded in understanding. _‘Poor Dirk.’_

They were quiet for a bit as Martin allowed Amanda to digest all the information he just gave her. “I’m sorry I shut you guys out—” Amanda began to say, but was cut off by Martin. 

“Don’t apologize, Drummer. You did what you thought you had to do, even if it meant completely cutting us out. Just know we would never hurt you, even if you ever got curious to know what it feels like.” 

“I _was_ gonna ask about that,” Amanda grumbled with a suspicious side eye. Martin smiled and looked over at the door. “But I mean, other feelings…do you eat those if they’re offered to you?” 

“Like what?” he asked turning back to her. He knew full and well what she was trying to ask. 

“Anger or confusion…lust?” 

Martin smiled and got ready to answer, but turned his head to the door again. “The boys are back.” A few minutes later Amanda heard their loud chatter. _‘That’s a freaky yet cool gift he got there,’_ she thought. _‘Wait, do they have my keys?’_

“Martin,” Amanda started, causing him to turn to her again. 

“Yeah, Drummer.” 

“Can you take other emotions?”

“Yes, but again…Icarus is the only one who hasn’t gotten sick when we do it.” 

“What happens to regular people?” 

“Ever had the worst hangover that made you swear off alcohol?” Amanda nodded. “That times ten.”

“Fuck.”

“Even if we take a little bit, you’ll be throwing up like you were yesterday. I don’t— _we_ don’t want to put you through that just cause you got a little curious.” 

“Has it ever happened accidentally? Like…in the middle of an intimate moment?”

“No, it’s easy to control after you’ve gotten used to it.” 

Amanda nodded then shuffled a little closer to take his hand in hers. “I want you to know that didn’t run and stay away from you cause I was scared; at least that wasn’t the _only_ reason. It was cause I was lied to by people I love.” 

Martin raised a shocked eyebrow at what she inadvertently declared. He moved closer to her and cupped her cheek with his free hand, rubbing his thumb by the corner of her mouth. He then placed a soft kiss on her lips, pulling away when she tried to deepen it. “No more secrets then.”

“Good,” she whispered.

“Should also warn you then; that asshole you almost fucked is Blackwing.” 

“What?!” Amanda leaned back so she could look at him properly. 

“Smelt it on him the minute he came into the cafe.” 

“Was that why you guys beat him up?” 

“It was more threats than anything.” 

“But I thought you guys were defending my honor?” she pouted. 

“We also told him to keep away from you,” Martin supplied.

“Was that the ‘errand’?” Martin shrugged as a response. “I can protect myself you know. Also, how’d you guys know I was with him?” 

“We protect our own,” he repeated with his intention heavily implied while tapping his nose. 

“I should be mad you followed me, but I’m glad that you did.” She could only shudder at the thought if she had gone and slept with him or if she was never rescued from the cold. Feeling tired again, Amanda pulled him down so he was lying next to her and draped his arm over her waist. “No more secrets right?” 

“No more,” he whispered. 

A few minutes later they fell asleep while the rest of the Rowdy Three opted to watching TV in her living room. They had come in, ready to tell Martin how it went, but stopped dead in their tracks when they noticed how cuddled up they were together as they slept.

___________________________________

 

When Amanda and Martin woke up again, the room was dark as it was close to 8:00 PM. Amanda was on her side, back pressed against Martin’s chest, when his hand tightened on her hip. Instinctively she arched her back and Martin groaned above her head. 

“You finally awake?” he whispered in a sleep addled voice.

“How long have you been up?” 

“Long enough.” 

Amanda placed her hand on Martin’s where it rested on her hip and moved it stomach. She rolled on her back and turned to look up at him. He kept his gaze on her belly, rubbing at the exposed skin where her shirt had ridden up. 

“You said you guys have a great sense of smell right?” 

“Mmhmm.” 

“If I get aroused do you all smell it?” 

Martin chuckled and bit his lip. “In a way, yeah.” 

“So you all knew when I had wet dreams about you guys?” 

“Oh it was all of us, huh?” Martin teased. He remembered those days when they would smell a heady scent from her whenever she’d pass them by. They made no mention of it since they knew full and well what it was. That was until Vogel had sniffed and sent them a look of confusion. 

“Why does Boss smell like that?” 

“Like what?” Martin smirked, knowing Vogel didn’t recognize arousal.

“Like…like…raining.” 

The guys laughed and shook their heads. “It’s definitely not rain, Vogel,” Martin chuckled.

“Boss doesn’t smell sweet anymore,” he complained. 

“No she doesn’t,” Cross responded with a lecherous smile. 

Vogel recognized the look on his face made a disgusted one on his own. “Ew, ‘Manda’s horny.”

“Bingo,” Gripps chuckled. Martin smiled and looked over at Amanda who had been avoiding their gazes. _‘She must’ve had a dream last night,’_ he had thought.

“Fuck off, not like as an orgy or anything,” she murmured in embarrassment, snapping him out of his memories. Martin turned her head so she was looking at him. 

“We don’t care about shit like that, I hope you know this. If you want us all we won’t put up a fuss. If you only want one, that’s fine too. If you want one with a side of someone else, we won’t bitch about it. There is no judgment here. You belong to you and we can’t and _won’t_ change that.” 

Amanda smiled at him then nodded. “And if I just want you?” 

“Be more than happy.” His voice dropped a few octaves.

“How long did you say they were gonna be out?” Amanda could feel herself reacting to how he was looking at her. 

“They left a good 20 minutes ago; should be back soon.” 

“Fuck, I should probably not do this then,” she said as she shoved Martin’s hand into her underwear.

Martin huffed a chuckling moaned at the soft and wet heat under his fingers. “You sure?”

“Please.” 

Martin pulled his hand out to remove the rings on his left hand then slid it back in to her hole and pressed his middle finger in. Amanda whimpered and spread her legs to give him more room. He looked up from the sight of his hand buried in her panties to her face. 

She had her eyes closed, but her mouth was opened in the shape of an ‘O’ as she panted. “Another one,” she gasped. He slipped his middle finger out so just the tip resided in her and pressed forward with the ring finger beside it. Her walls tightened around his fingers, causing Martin to groan. He tilted her head back so she was turned to him and kissed her. Amanda responded immediately with a moan.

Slowly he moved his digits in and out, loving the sounds of her soft panting and the light slick noise from his fingers fucking into her. He twitched them forward, catching her G-spot causing her to arch her back and her walls to clamp down on him.

“Martin,” she gasped, breaking the kiss and opened her eyes. “I want you, please.”

“How do you want me?”

“Inside,” she whimpered. 

Martin pulled his fingers out and licked his ring finger of her juices. Amanda gasped at the sight and took his hand to suck the middle one clean. Growling, Martin removed his shirt and vest then got up to kick off his jeans.

“Where are your condoms?”

Amanda pointed at the drawer by her head. “Top drawer. Just so you know, I’m on the pill, but when we get tested we’re not using those anymore.” 

“Shit,” Martin groaned at her demand. Amanda took her sleep shorts, underwear, and shirt off. When she was down to just her bra, she strangely started to feel self-conscious about herself. “Whatever you’re thinking, stop it.” 

“Sorry.” She removed her bra and laid back a bit stiffly.

“You change your mind?” he asked as he knelt between her legs. 

“No…” 

“Then why you closing off on me?”

“Sorry, I— it’s nothing. It’s stupid.”

“Tell me.”

“I...I feel like I’m not good enough.”

“What? Good enough for what?”

“This, us, me and the rest of the guys. I—” she cut herself off again and looked away.

“Say it,” he urged.

“It’s nothing. Can we continue?”

“Drummer.”

“Please, I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” she urged, trying to bring him in for a kiss, but he pulled away from her grasps.

Martin grabbed her shirt and tossed it at her. “Not gonna have sex with you when you’re upset.”

Amanda got up, slipped the shirt on, and crossed her arms. “Then you can go.”

“Was that what this was? Just fuck and be done with it.”

“No, I just...I don’t know how to explain it.”

“You said you felt like you’re not good enough. Like what, you don’t deserve this?” Amanda nodded solemnly which caused Martin to sigh. _‘What asshole gave her this idea?’_ “What if it’s _us_ who don’t deserve _you_? We’re a bunch of shitbag assholes that literally terrorize one guy as their main source of food. Then you come along and you fit right in. Even without the extra fucked up backstory. You deserve this as much as we deserve you.”

Amanda sniffled and closed her eyes. “I ruined the mood.”

“We can always try some other time.” Martin stood up, still nude, and wiped her eyes. “No more doubts about your place here. Cause you’re stuck with us now.”

“No more doubts,” she repeated. They shared a soft kiss, which sent a small charge of arousal through her. “Let’s get dressed, grab the boys, and smash some shit.”

“You should wear that little dress again,” he teased. Amanda gave him the finger and slipped on her jeans and jacket while Martin was buttoning his vest.

Thirty minutes later they were at a salvage yard destroying cars and dancing around the fire pit Martin started. As Amanda had a mannequin arm sword fight with Vogel, she wondered why she ever thought she wasn’t good enough for them.

Come Monday, Amanda finally spoke to Farah, Todd, and Dirk. She had texted Todd, telling him to show up at the cafe. She was shocked he actually came by, but she presumed it had to do with the fact that she was finally contacting him.

“I wanted to apologize for my behavior the past couple of weeks. Granted I felt justified in doing so, I should’ve heard all sides to the story.”

“You know why we couldn’t tell you, now?” Farah asked.

“It’s fucked up, but yeah.” She turned to Dirk and gave him a sad smiled. “Sorry.”

“It’s nothing,” Dirk tried to downplay, but the sadness in his eyes didn't fool anyone.

“So does that mean you’re with the Rowdy Three again?” Todd asked. Amanda knew he was secretly happy that they had a falling out.

Amanda sighed with an eye roll. “Yes…and possibly dating one of them so you’re gonna have to deal with it.” 

Todd looked at her in shock then at Farah and Dirk who didn’t seem too surprised. “Is it the young one? Vogue?” he asked her.

“Vogel and no.”

“Martin?” Farah asked to which Amanda blushed and nodded to. Todd made a face and turned to her again.

“But…but he’s like…old.”

Amanda chuckled and made a wincing face. “I don't think I will be able to save you from the punch you’re gonna receive. I don't know when it’ll happen, but just know it will someday.”

Farah clapped Todd on his shoulder when he remembered the Rowdy Three were standing outside of the shop while they talked things out. Their conversation delayed the opening of the shop, but no one was going to argue with the way the Rowdy Three stood in front of the doors.

___________________________________

 

Things slowly got back to normal between Amanda and the Rowdy Three. They had come back to cafe and reclaimed their seats. Amanda felt like things clicked back into place as she watched them. Smiling she walked over and placed Irish coffees in front of them.

“Try it and no extra sugar Gripps.”

The men grimaced at their cups before simultaneously taking a sip. They all looked up at each other, then the coffee, then at her.

“Is this allowed?” Vogel asked in a hushed voice.

“For you guys, yes. Just don’t go ham—Cross stop chugging it down!” she tried to reach over to stop him, but he shifted away with his arm out to bat her hand away and finished his drink. “You’re all lucky you don’t get drunk as easy as us boring regular folks do,” she huffed.

She went back over to Dirk, “Successful in getting them to drink coffee?”

“Yup,” she popped the p and smiled. “Hey, Dirk…” 

“Yeah?” 

“I…I know we like spoke about it a little bit, but…if…I was wondering if it would be okay to ask questions about your time at Blackwing.” Dirk’s expectant smile dropped a bit which cause to her continue. “You-you totally don't have to, just— Martin told me they had been there for 10 years and Vogel a little under 2. I just…had questions.” 

“It’s fine. I don't really talk about it. My only reminders of that place are them.”

“That why you hate em?”

“Not…hate per say, but more…scared.”

“Do you know why they followed you?”

“I have an idea.”

“Then how are you still scared of them?”

Dirk looked over to where the Rowdy Three were chatting amongst themselves then back to Amanda.

“I just remember being that scared little boy getting placed in a room with three terrifying teens.” 

Amanda hugged him, which shocked him for a minute. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, really. I feel personally connected with them. Even though they really are frightening; memories be damned.”

This startled a laugh out of her and she pulled away. “So it doesn’t bother you that I’m with them and dating Martin?”

“Nah, more worried that you’ll start roughing me up. They’re a bad influence,” he teased in a motherly tone.

“Nah, I’ll leave that to Farah,” she joked back with a wink. Dirk laughed and turned his attention to the customers that were coming in. Amanda glanced over at her boys and Martin was already looking in her direction. They shared a private smile before continuing about their business.

When it was closing time, the Rowdy Three had consumed about six of those coffees, she was a hundred percent sure Cross drank some of theirs, and they all piled out the door. Martin walked up to her and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

“We’ll wait for you in the van.”

“ ‘kay,” she smiled. They kissed again until Dirk cleared his throat. Sighing, Amanda pulled away and turned to him. “You’d do the same thing if Todd didn't have shitty work hours.”

Martin let them bicker as he left and lit up a cigarette while on his way back to the van.

30 minutes later, Amanda was leaving and walked over to the van. Gripps passed her a beer, which she took, and Martin started off to their usual lot. There wasn’t much breaking of things, but sitting around chatting and drinking. Martin had an arm wrapped around her as they shared a joint.

“You guys coming back with me?”

“If you want us to,” Martin hummed.

“I always do,” Amanda smiled and passed the joint to Cross who smiled at them from across the fire and took it when it was offered. They had spent a few more hours out there, before it got colder and Amanda trembled. “Do you guys seriously not feel the cold?”

“Takes longer to hit us when we’re well fed,” Gripps said as he packed their seats back in the van.

“Well shit,” Amanda grumbled and ran inside to turn on the heat. Martin took her home, where she immediately noticed some changes. “When the hell did you guys bring these here?”

“Earlier today,” Cross answered. As he dragged his mattress to her room.

“Did you guys make a copy of my keys?” Again she should’ve been creeped out, but instead just found it funny.

“No, we used your spare one, Boss.”

“Bed’s too small for all of us. I thought my neck was gonna permanently be stuck like this,” Gripps said as he tilted his head to demonstrate. Amanda laughed and rubbed her eyes, eyeliner be damned.

“Did you grab yours as well?” she asked Martin.

“You kicking me out of yours?” he murmured. Amanda shook her head with a large smile. “Good,” he whispered in her ear then kissed the top of her head.

Amanda went to the bathroom to clean her face and got ready to offer them her spare brushes again, but noticed they already brought those in as well. Slowly she looked around and noticed they had been leaving stuff at her place. A private smile spread across her face as she walked into her room.

Her bedroom floor didn't exist at this point, it was nothing but mattresses. They made sure there was enough room for her to traverse and not step on anyone, but would still be enough of a death trap at night.

Too tired to entertain them, she plopped into bed and passed out. Martin came in a few minutes later and spooned himself behind her. The rest of the guys slipped in around midnight and fell asleep as well.

 

 

 


	7. The Kiss of Dawn

Amanda woke up when a heavy body plopped onto her. “What the fuck?!” she yelled and opened her eyes. Vogel was shuffling in between them and smiled at both her and Martin.

“Boss, we’re hungry.”

“Regular hungry or Dirk hungry,” she asked as she closed her eyes again. She then snorted to herself, _‘Dirk hungry.’_  After her initial talk with Martin, she spoke to the rest of them about their need for food and the boys let her know that they don’t need to eat as much as a regular person does, but the taste of food here and there was never turned down.

“Regular.”

“Cool, make yourself some eggs.”

“You don’t want that,” Martin grumbled, knowing full and well his boys would burn down the place. His face was squished into his pillow so his voice came out muffled.

“Cereal?” Amanda asked, almost falling back to sleep. 

“Boss!” Vogel yelled again. 

“Dude,” she groaned and rolled away from him. Rubbing at her eyes she tapped her phone to see the time. It was 9:00 AM on a Saturday. “Nope, nah, no. Go make your own food. It’s too early.”

As she got ready to settle back down and sleep the morning away, Vogel and Martin snapped up and stared at the door.

“Shit!” They both ran out of her room and she heard a huge commotion in her kitchen followed by the smoke alarm. Sighing dramatically she got up, stomping on their mattresses, and went over to them. 

“How dark are fried eggs supposed to be?” Cross asked as he looked into his charcoaled mess.

“About 100% lighter than that,” Gripps responded while opening her windows.

“You guys did this on purpose, I know you did,” Amanda grumbled almost to herself. She shooed them out, ordering them to clean up her room while she fixed the mess in her kitchen. 40 minutes later she had eggs, toast, and bacon ready for them.

All of them gave her a kiss on the cheek or head as they gleefully collected their plates. Martin wrapped his arm around her waist before kissing her shoulder. “Fit right in like a glove,” he whispered in her ear. She playfully shrugged her shoulder to push him back.

“Next time I’m locking my fridge and you’re getting food outside.”

Martin chuckled and tilted her head back for a quick kiss. “We won’t wake up you up before noon next time.”

“Doable. Still not your maid to cook and clean after you.”

“Nah, never that,” he answered seriously. She spun around and watched them eat their breakfast with gusto. Martin still hadn’t grabbed his, but he was hungry for something else at the moment. “We’ll clean up in here and save you a plate,” he said as he ushered her out so she could wash up.

As Martin said, the kitchen was fully clean and a plate of food was waiting for her. Someone, most likely Martin himself, had made her fresh eggs as it was steaming when she unwrapped it. Quietly she ate her breakfast with a satisfied smile on her face.

______________________________

 

Later that evening, after they had been driving around for a few hours, Amanda sat in the back of the van with Cross while the rest were taking a leak off the side of the road. She enforced hand sanitizer to be brought along when it first occurred. While they were amused at the way she dodged their hugs if they didn't clean their hands, she didn't need the post drinking cardio. 

The silence between the two of them wasn’t uncomfortable, but Cross could sense something was on her mind.

“You okay, Drummer?” 

“Hmm? Yeah, I’m good,” she answered with a faraway sound to her voice. 

Cross turned her head to him and raised a brow. “Wanna try that again?” 

“Sorry,” she chuckled. “I’m just...Martin told me a little about your time in Blackwing.” 

“Ah,” he nodded. “What’s got you spooked about it?” His voice strained as he stretched behind them to grab a beer. He opened the can and offered her first dibs, but she gently declined. 

“You guys were literally tortured for 10 years, but...you’re more carefree and in control than anyone I’ve ever seen,” she paused. “I guess, I’m just wondering how you are staying so sane.” 

“Us, sane?” Cross laughed maniacally. 

“You know what I mean,” Amanda smiled and shoved his shoulder. 

“We just have to. We have to or else we’d go truly be the monsters that Blackwing say we are and give those assholes a reason to bring us back or better yet, put us down.”

She's not gonna lie, the fear of losing them had plagued her mind for a while after Martin had told her. “I’m glad you all got out,” she whispered. “It’s selfish, but I’m glad cause I got to meet all of you.” 

Cross shrugged and hugged her. “We could use some selfish.” 

“Shell fish?” Vogel asked upon his return, breaking the tension in the van. 

“Where are the crabs?” Gripps asked, causing Amanda to laugh. 

“Well now I’m hungry for some seafood,” Cross muttered. 

“Know any good places open at this time?” Amanda asked Martin as she crawled back into the front seat. 

“Know the perfect place,” Martin nodded. 

It was out of town and was a hidden little shack of a place, but the food was amazing. She was definitely going to add them to her Foursquare app.

After they were done, they went back to Amanda’s, because where else would they go really, and crashed in the living room. Though the guys loved roughing it in their van or wherever it was that they lived at, they had been staying over her place more and more. She’s now positive one of them made a copy of her spare key, cause the amount of things that wasn’t hers kept piling up. 

One by one they went to the bathroom to clean up and brush the seafood from their mouths before turning on a movie. She had cuddled up in her usual spot with Martin, trying to keep up with the explosions and fighting, but it had been such a long day; no thanks to a certain _someone._  

Martin was rubbing her back, much like he always did when they cuddled, when he felt her breath even out on the side of his neck. He checked to see if she was asleep then picked her up to take her to bed. She grumbled a bit at being moved, but didn’t wake up. 

“You boys staying up?” Martin asked. They nodded while keeping their eyes on the screen. Martin hummed and went to her room. Luckily the boys leaned their mattresses against the wall because he surely would’ve tripped trying to get her to bed. Martin stripped down to just his shirt and boxer briefs after he laid her down then proceeded to remove her jeans. He paused at her shirt, unsure if he should do something about her bra. Not wanting to look like even more of a creep, he opted to leaving it on. 

He placed his glasses and rings on the bedside table, turned off the lights, and then crawled into bed behind her. 

Amanda woke up in the middle of the night around 3:00 AM to the Rowdy Three snoring away in her bedroom. Martin was behind her with his back facing her, while the rest were comfortably on their mattresses below. Quietly and carefully she got up to grab herself a cup of water from the kitchen. When she got back Martin was up and rubbing at his eyes.

“Hey,” she whispered as she took off her bra from under her shirt and crawled back in bed. 

“Where’d you run off to?” 

“Water,” she simply answered. She rested her head on his chest and entwined their legs together. Martin’s hand immediately went to rub her back when she curled up next to him. They were laying in a comfortable silence before Amanda spoke again. “Are you guys homeless?” 

His body shook as he quietly laughed at the question and looked down at her. “Why are you asking?”

“I’ve never been to your place,” she answered with a shrug. 

“Not homeless, we just don’t feel the need to be there anymore.” 

“Are you guys gonna move in with me?”

“That’s a tall order, Drummer.” His hand moved lower so the tips of his fingers rested on the top of her ass. 

“Yeah, bit fast isn’t it?” 

Martin shrugged. “I’ve been in a cage for 10 years of my life. Been out 20 years, I say if you want something just go for it.” 

“And do you want me?” Amanda asked. Martin looked down at her and brought his other hand up to caress her cheek. 

“Always.” 

“No more secrets right?”

“None.” 

Amanda’s large eyes bounced from his own to his lips before she leaned up to kiss him. Martin growled deep within his chest and he rolled on top of her instead. She giggled quietly in embarrassment at the little yelp she let out before they began to kiss in earnest. Martin sucked on her full lower lip as he pressed down on her to let their lower halves grind into each other. Amanda gasped aloud then whipped her head to the side to make sure none of the guys were awake.

“We have to be quiet,” she whimpered as he bit at her neck. Her right leg hooked itself onto his hip to grind up on him better. Her nipples slowly pebbled under her shirt the more they moved against each other.

“I can be, can _you_?” Martin murmured along her skin then thrust hard onto her hip. Her scent picked up causing him to moan in pleasure. Amanda wrapped her legs fully around his waist as they passionately kissed. She sucked on his tongue with a soft moan as he rotated his hips against her. They continued like this, grinding and kissing, before he slowly slid down. He paused to kiss her exposed stomach then pulled her underwear off. 

Martin moaned at the sight of her, wanting nothing more than to bury his face between her thighs and eat out nice, slow, and deep. 

“Martin,” she whined when he had been staring at her a touch too long. Her legs opened, offering him more room and a better view. Her scent turned spicy, losing all sweetness, the more turned on she got. God he wanted to savor this, wanted to drag her pleasure out for as long as possible if it meant her smelling as good as she did that moment. He trailed kisses down her inner thigh; his beard tickling her heated skin. Amanda whined again, rotating her hips to get him where she really wanted him. 

“Shh,” Martin whispered before leaning in and placing a soft kiss on her pussy. Amanda bit her lip, breathing turning heavy as she tried to keep from making a noise, and gripped the sheets as he slowly started to lick her neatly trimmed slit. Martin moaned at the taste of her and repeated the action again, this time deeper so her lips parted and his tongue licked along her folds. Martin’s tongue briefly flicked her clit before he pushed his way to lick deeper into her.

Amanda softly moaned as she watched him eat her out like she was the best thing he’s ever tasted. He pushed her legs up, forcing her knees against her chest and slowly fucked his tongue in and out of her. Amanda gasped at the position change and let out a desperate sound. He opened his eyes and met hers head on; holding contact as he devoured her center. He moved up to suck on her clit, loving the way it made her pussy jerk and her thighs tighten. “Fuck,” she whispered. Martin alternated between fucking her with his tongue and stimulating her clit, getting his beard wet with her juices. 

His ears picked up on the sound of Vogel turning in his bed, but didn’t stop eating her out. Honestly, he couldn’t stop even if he wanted to. Amanda lost all sense of tact and grabbed his hair to grind up into his mouth. She knew she was damn near fucking his face, but she could feel her orgasm coming. 

Martin pulled back then silkily crawling over her. “Be a good girl and turn over,” he whispered above her lips. Amanda licked at his glistening ones, tasting herself on him, before following his orders. He positioned her so her ass rose a bit higher in the air and groaned at the pert shape of it. He softly bit the flesh of one cheek, causing Amanda’s heady scent of arousal to spike. _‘Girl’s got a kinky side,’_ he thought before he got up to remove the rest of his clothes. She still had her shirt on, but that didn't deter him none. 

Once he got back on the bed and knelt behind her, he rubbed the head of his cock on her wet pussy then slowly slipped into her. Martin was so glad they got tested after their last failed attempt at this. Feeling her warm and wet heat directly caused his eyes to roll back in absolute pleasure.

Amanda bit the pillow and whimpered at the girth of him. It had been a while since she’s slept with someone or inserted anything into herself when she masturbated and _fuck_ did he feel good. Martin kept a slow and steady pace, most likely to avoid any sound, which was nothing but pure torture for her. She wanted him to slam into her, shit pull her hair if he wanted to, she needed him to go faster.  Martin gripped her hips firmly while he being entranced by the sight of their coupling. He growled deep in his chest as he watched his dick stretch her; pumping in and out of her. 

“Fuck, you feel perfect,” he moaned and picked up the pace some more. He rubbed his thumb against where they were connected causing her to groan into the pillow. Amanda needed more, she _wanted_ more. She reached back and grabbed his hand to bring it around so he could rub at her clit. 

“Please, faster,” she whined, turning her head to look back at him. Her cheeks were flushed and her hair was a mess on the pillow beneath her. 

Martin thrust in deeper and hunched over her to whisper in her ear. “Can’t wake up the boys.” He kissed her temple then ground into her, rotating his hips in a circle, and pinched her clit. Amanda’s grip around his wrist tightened as she arched her back and let out a stuttering whine. “God I can’t wait til I can fuck you as hard as I want. You could be as loud as you need to be, begging me for more.” Her walls clamped down on him the more he spoke his dirty promises in her ear. 

“ _Please_.” She was so close and he knew it. Martin pulled out and repositioned them so she was on top.

“Take it,” Martin offered. Amanda leaned down to kiss him and his hands entangled themselves into her hair to deepen the kiss. She moaned when she could still taste herself on his lips after sucking his tongue into her mouth. She sat up and reached behind her, taking hold of the base of his cock, before slowly sinking down on him. Martin’s mouth fell open and let out a soft sound that would be in her spank bank for sure. 

When she was firmly seated, she rotated her hips, grinding her clit against him, and then began to move. His hands tightened where they rested on her thighs, trying not to buck up into her. He wanted her to take control and set the pace. 

Amanda steadied herself by placing her hands on his chest and started to ride him faster. The room was soon filled with the sound of their skin smacking against each other. Boys waking up be damned, she wanted to come right fucking now. Her thighs were burning in exertion, but she wanted this too bad. Annoyed with her shirt dangling on her, she sat back and removed it, finally exposing her breasts to him. Martin’s hands immediately went up and pinched at her nipples. 

Amanda moaned and clenched around him before she started moving again; this time faster and harder than she was earlier. “I’m close,” she whimpered. 

“Go ahead,” Martin moaned. Fuck that was a sound she needed to hear daily. She tried to keep her rhythm, but it started faltering the more she felt herself reaching her peak. Martin sat up, cupped her ass, and thrust up into her faster. Amanda placed her hands on his shoulders for balance and pulsed around him. 

“Come with me,” she gasped as Martin sucked on one nipple then moved to the other. 

“Want it inside?” he asked against her sternum.

Amanda nodded, biting her lower lip while her walls trembled around him. Martin looked up at her and thrust harder, watching as her breasts bounced with the force of it. He managed five more pumps before he squeezed the soft flesh of her ass when he felt his balls tightening. Their locked eyes then soon rolled back simultaneously as they came. 

Martin’s hips twitched as he emptied inside of her. God he felt drained but in _such_ a good way. Amanda was panting heavily as she came down from her high. Martin rested his head on her chest while he tried to slow his heart rate down. Amanda tilted his head back and kissed him. It was languid and lazy, perfect for how they felt at that moment. When they pulled apart they rested their foreheads together. 

“I think I love you,” Amanda whispered, her heart still racing from her orgasm and now cause of her declaration.

Martin pulled back to look at her and smiled before he kissed her again. “I _know_ I love you.”

The smile she shot him was blinding. “We need to shower. No way they won’t be able to smell what we did when they wake up.”

“They already know,” Martin chuckled with a head tilt. 

“Wha—?” She snapped her head over and saw the rest of the boys slowly blinking at them. “Fuck!” Amanda screeched and dove off of Martin, who winced at the sensitivity of slipping out of her so abruptly, then wrapped herself in the covers. “How long were you guys up?” She asked while using Martin’s nude body as a shield.

They all spoke at the same time. 

“Somewhere along the last act,” Gripps said. 

“I think I love you,” came Vogel’s voice.

“We have to be quiet,” Cross mimicked her whimper.

Amanda immediately sat up and threw her pillow at Cross. She then turned to Martin who had put his glasses back on and was not at all bothered by his own nudity. “I thought you’d be able to sense when they woke up!” 

“You smelled too good, couldn’t focus,” he chuckled at her anger. 

“You’re banned for a month.”

Martin flopped back on the bed and sighed. _‘At least I’ll have something to look forward to,’_ he thought. He looked over at Amanda who was essentially having a pillow tossing fight with the boys and smiled to himself. 

She was definitely worth the wait.

_______________________________

 

Amanda was walking through the aisles of the supermarket, when she felt like she was being followed. Of course she checked, even did the fake selfie trick to discreetly check behind her, but saw nothing. Shrugging, she was on her way to check out when someone grabbed her arm and covered her mouth to drag her out back.

She fought with everything her self-defense class taught her and shoved her attacker away. She turned around, keys between her fingers as mock shanks, and got ready to pounce when she saw who it was.

“What the fuck, Hugo?!”

“Sergeant Friedkin, actually.” 

“You’ll be Sergeant of my foot in your ass if you don't tell me what the fuck that shit was?!” Hugo got ready to speak before she cut him off. “Actually, no, I don't give a shit. You work for fucking Blackwing.”

“They told you?” 

“Of course they did, you dick!” 

“Listen, I’m here on assignment.” 

“What assignment?” 

“Get Project Incubus back.” 

“Who?” 

“Your friends, I have to bring them back.” 

“Over my dead fucking body.” Amanda got ready to attack him, but he quickly drew his weapon. 

“Amanda, please don't make me.”

She stood still, body slowly starting to tremble, and angrily stared at Hugo.

“Sergeant!” an older man yelled from behind her. “Lower your weapon.” 

“B-But, sir…” 

“She’s innocent in all this, lower your weapon,” the man said.

Amanda kept her eyes on his finger on the trigger, hoping to all hell that nothing spooked him enough to cause him to fire. 

“Did you know that she’s fucking them, sir?” Amanda’s eyes heatedly flashed at Hugo’s face, taking in the look of disgust on his.

“And that is her business, but we’re here to get them back _without_ a fight.” 

“But _she’s_ our ticket in. We take her with us and they will come.” Tears formed in her eyes in both fear and anger. “She can also get us Icarus.” _‘Oh god,’_ she mentally cried. 

“Sergeant, we have better ways to handle all of this.”

“You know what they can do sir, why don’t we have a full army with us to get them in? Why haven’t you called Priest?” 

“Priest?” Amanda accidentally asked out loud. Hugo simply cocked the gun, his eyes still on his Colonel.

A few seconds later, loud tires screeching was heard and soon Martin was stomping forward towards them. “Riggins!” Martin yelled. The absolute fury on his face was enough to scare someone shitless. 

“Martin,” the man calmly replied back. He knew this wasn’t going to end well. 

“You have five seconds to get him away from her or he’s dead.” 

The rest of her boys came out causing Hugo to grab her and press his gun against her side. “Look, we just need you guys to come with us. I’ll even give her a room near you guys.”

“I’m not a Blackwing test subject, asshole,” Amanda gritted angrily which caused Hugo to press his gun harder against her ribs. 

“One,” Cross started.

“Two,” Gripps continued. 

“Three,” Vogel growled. 

“I’ll shoot her I swear; just come with us!” 

“Friedkin, let her go!” Riggins yelled.

“Four,” the Rowdy Three, excluding Martin who had been glaring at Hugo the whole time, said in unison. Amanda looked at them and shook her head minutely. As much as she wants to hurt Hugo herself, she didn't want an all-out war. _Definitely_ not over her. 

They had all been yelling on top of each other that no one noticed when Farah had arrived, and next thing Amanda saw was Hugo with a gun to side of his head. 

“Drop your fucking gun and get the fuck away from her,” Farah said in a dead tone. Hugo uncocked his weapon and pushed Amanda forward then dropped his gun. Martin immediately grabbed Amanda, cupping her cheeks to make sure she was okay, then ushered her over to the rest of the guys. 

Martin turned back to Hugo who looked rightfully scared. “Five.” 

Amanda was quickly moved out the way as the Rowdy Three ambushed Hugo. The man was on the ground while the four of them were hovering over him. This was the second time she got to witness them feeding. It was fascinating to look at, but at the same time scary as all hell. 

Hugo’s body was slowly twitching as if he was having a seizure which snapped Amanda out of her trance. She ran up to them only to be held back by Farah.

“It’s too dangerous.” 

“But they’ll kill him. That’ll give Blackwing incentive.” 

Farah turned back to Riggins who had run off and gotten the gas to get the Rowdy Three off of Hugo. Amanda watched fearfully as her boys collapsed and quickly grabbed Hugo’s discarded gun. 

“Look, you can just get in your fucking car and go. You don’t have to turn this into anything,” Amanda said in a trembling voice, hand shaking as she pointed her gun at Riggins. 

“They could’ve killed him!” 

“He almost killed me!” Amanda yelled angrily. “I’m fucking innocent in all this and he was willing to trade my fucking life for their capture. So either you let us fucking go or I let them continue.”

Riggins stared at Amanda then Farah who looked just as serious. “I can give you a window, but we _are_ ordered to bring them in.” 

Tears spilled down Amanda’s cheeks as he greatest fear was recognized. 

“How long?” 

“A few days. Three tops.”

Amanda nodded then turned to Farah. “I’m resigning due to a family emergency.” 

“Amanda, you can’t _go_ with them,” Farah started. 

“I’m not leaving them. You might want to think about it as well cause he mentioned getting Dirk too.” 

Farah snapped her attention back to Riggins who nodded at her silent question. 

“Fuck,” she said and pulled out her phone to call Dirk. “Is Todd with you? Good, pack your bags cause we gotta go.” Amanda could hear sputtering on the other line before Farah cut Dirk off. “Blackwing…we have to go,” she explained. 

“Three days?” Amanda asked to confirm. 

“Three.” 

“I hope you know I won’t stop them next time,” she said while looking down at Hugo’s passed out body. 

“And the team won’t hesitate to shoot, just know this.” 

“Cool.” Amanda uncocked the gun and put it in the back of her jeans before slapping the boys awake. “I need you guys to wake up, okay. You’re heavy as shit.” 

They groaned before blinking up at her. “ ‘Manda?” Vogel groaned. 

“Get in the van,” she ordered them. Gripps got up and pulled Cross along with him. She went over to Martin who was staring angrily at Riggins. He quickly stood up and marched over to him. “Martin—” 

Martin simply got up in Riggins’ face and roughly pressed his forehead against his. “You’re not putting us back in no cages,” he growled before pushing away and going over to Amanda. He grabbed her hand and dragged her over to the van.

Farah watched as they drove off before running over to her car, leaving Riggins alone to deal with Hugo. 

The van was silent and intense as Martin sped back to her place. He parked out in front then turned to her. “You have a choice, Drummer and what you say goes.” Amanda nodded at him with fear in her eyes. “Are you coming or staying?” 

“I’m coming, I’ll always go with you.” 

“You get why we didn't want you in this shit. _This_ is what we always feared. That’s why it was better when we kept moving; this is the longest we’ve stayed in one spot.”

“I’m going with you,” Amanda said sternly. “It’s fucking scary, but I’m with all of you.” Martin pulled her in for a quick kiss before exiting the van. She turned to the rest of them and smiled. “So who wants to help me pack?”

 


End file.
